Humiliation Parade

Tuesday, 05/20/08, 5:30 p.m.

waiting on his patio for him to return with the groceries- very specific- she’d told him she needed.
scared
wondering if she would die or lose an eye tonight.
wondering if her son would see her again, yes these thoughts went through her head.
but mostly she talked herself through them, told herself he was just your average sadistic bastard who wanted to step on her face and beat her ass... the usual, no big thing, right?

so what had been so different... so different as to enchant her almost desperately...

maybe nothing was different...

but here are the details...

She asked if she could open the blinds for some light, he told her not to “fucking” touch anything. But he put the kitchen light on. How considerate.

He sat on the couch, turned the TV to CNN. She had been standing and decided to sit on the chair. He said, “I didn’t tell you to sit down.” She was pleasantly shocked, she had to admit. She loved it.

He told her to fix herself something to eat, so she went to the kitchen with the food. She whined that he hadn’t gotten broccolli, which she really needed.

Suddenly he was in her face, his hand across her cheeks before she knew it. And she was in heaven.

He slapped her and slapped her, fairly hard, and chastised her for complaining instead of being grateful.

Got it. “Thank you.”

”’Thank you’ what?” he looked at her.

“Thank you, sir,” she revised herself. He went back to the election news.

She stayed in the kitchen and opened her food, put it on a plate and began munching.

Once again he had to correct her- yes, he slapped her in the face and she fucking loved it.

He had not told her to start eating, but just to fix her plate. Ohhh... there’s a difference. He emphasized that she needed to pay attention to the specifics because he was particular about that.

That was new, that was different, she thought. Nice.

So now... she was developing a little bit of caution and fear towards him. Good. Yummy.

She brought her plate back to the living room and he allowed her to sit on the floor and eat. He saw she didn’t want to eat the hot dog (because she had found that it was a little spicy). He was not interested in wasting food so he told her to eat the whole thing anyway. She drank a lot of water. So now of course she had to urinate.

He told her she would not use the bathroom at all the entire night.

He sat on his armchair, with her kneeling there in front of him. He had her remove his shoes and socks and of course, predictably, but still divinely, kiss his feet. She gave one kiss and knelt up again, for which he had to correct her, “I didn’t tell you to stop.” Oh she should have remembered that from Jennifer... but that was a little bit of shyness misguiding her, making her suppress what she really wanted to do... to let it all out, hang free.

Anyway, she was fidgeting a little, complaining, of course, as she always seemed to, that her feet were getting numb. He told her she was fine. But after a few more complaints, he got up and called her over,near the bedroom. He tied her arms behind her back, somewhat painfully, pushed her down on her face on the floor.

He tied her ankles as well, then tied them to something hanging, so that her feet were up. He placed a long wooden stick, balanced somehow, between her ankles and warned her not to drop it.

He did different things then, and she cannot remember the sequence, nor can she remember exactly everything.... but...

visions flash through her head..

he kissed her, like an attack... while she was down, her face down on the floor...

he stepped on her face, her ass.. kicked her a little while he told her he wouldn’t bother to waste the effort of taking pictures of her...
..beautiful..

he brought out a needle- she didn’t know until she felt it prick her bottom, felt it scratch her skin... he scared her teasingly, bringing the needle close to her lips, which now enclosed a rubber ball, pricking the ball, and then actually her lip, gently...

he bit her on her back, just below the shoulder- she has a nice bruise now... and she notices some other marks, but doesn’t remember what they’re from exactly...

he stuck something up her nose- something skinny and long... it made her feel quite silly.

he laid a towel down under her face and pissed right in her mouth and on her face...

she loved him for it.

he stuck his finger deep in her throat to make her throw up so he could rub her face in it.

first when he had pushed her down on the floor, he investigated her private parts, found the tampon and pulled it out and shoved it in her mouth... it was too dry, not having the right effect, so he took it to the sink to wet it, then squeezed that bloody water over her face and mouth and shoved it back in... asking her how it tasted...

he told her what a mess her face was now, after the piss, vomit, and bloody water, and cleaned her up with a sponge that smelled like mildewey water... he said, “you know what i did Friday? [Friday she had cancelled on him] I cleaned my bathroom,” obviously with that sponge.

wasn’t he creative now? god she fucking loved it

she couldn’t remember why, but at some point, while she was face down, tied up, she started making whimpering noises and he told her to “stop making stupid noises”... so she did, of course...

but then he told her to bark like a dog... and she tried, but he didn’t think her barking was good enough, so he came over and beat her gently...

he would leave her there and go sit at his computer... remind her to hold on to the stick... and she was letting it slip, he noticed... so he started shouting, “The stick!, stick, ya bit” she loved the arabic thrown in...

then he untied her and brought her by the hair, so she had to crawl, to the toilet, pushed her face in it, and flushed on her to clean her off...

...sweetness...

just the way he manhandled and abused her and didn’t use any politeness to tell her to bring him a drink, his phone, his cigarettes, whatever...

she thought maybe that very first dom she had ever met was right-maybe she just needed an abusive boyfriend- hah, she laughed to herself.

... and another time she forgot to call him, “Sir” and he came over to her- so quickly, he was like a cheetah, very sexy- and started slapping her face and back, to the point that she had to crumple to the floor, and he continued to slap her. He caught her on the back of the neck- that memory stuck in her head very pleasantly- and she was apologizing profusely, “Sir! Sir! Sir” ok ok...

... He told her to go shower. While she was in there, she peed. She felt so bad about it, but she had to go too...

...later he offered her a cigarette, but then snatched his hand back and asked her if she had peed in the shower. Though in hindsight now, this question, and that he would know, seems so obvious. But at the time, she was fairly impressed.

She couldn’t answer him, she felt guilty. But he said he knew. He started to stand up and so did she, backing away from him, thrilling ecstatically at the fear. Slap, slap, slap across the face over and over, and again she was down on the floor. He had grabbed a cane and beat her ass with it (but not really very hard, she noticed) and chastised her again, for being disobedient. She brought her face to his feet and begged forgiveness. And she was utterly his.... utterly.

Even later, she realizes she wants so hungrily to be his brainless, obedient whore... or “personal pig” as he called it one night when they were online chatting....

...later he offered her a cigarette, but then snatched his hand back and asked her if she had peed in the shower. Though in hindsight now, this question, and that he would know, seems so obvious. But at the time, she was fairly impressed.

She couldn’t answer him, she felt guilty. But he said he knew. He started to stand up and so did she, backing away from him, thrilling ecstatically at the fear. Slap, slap, slap across the face over and over, and again she was down on the floor. He had grabbed a cane and beat her ass with it (but not really very hard, she noticed) and chastised her again, for being disobedient. She brought her face to his feet and begged forgiveness. And she was utterly his.... utterly.