crossroad

I’m posting this in both the Dom section as well as the sub section in hopes that anyone out there will have the suggestion we need.

My Master and I seem to have hit a crossroad, we had a talk about this last night, not the first talk of this kind. You see I’m still fairly new to D/s and Sir isn’t, he is quite set in his ways. We have been together for a wonderful 10 months but because we are long distance (a 3 hour drive and relocating is not an option at this time) the relationship hasn’t developed as fast as it probably would if we were local to each other, besides my impatient moments this is not at all the issue. We try to see each other about every second week for a few days but that’s not always possible especially now that winter is here.

The real issue is that because Sir is very laid back as well as set in his own ways I have been feeling frustrated lately, there is a whole world out there that I have only begun to explore. We have both been thinking it recently but it was only said yesterday…could it be Sir has taken me as far as he can. This makes me very sad because there are so many wonderful things about him, but it also makes me that much more determined.

Neither of us is willing to give up trying yet, we have already crossed some tough hurdles together and we want to try to get through this one as well.

I’m just here wondering if anyone else has been down this road? Ideas, thoughts, suggestions please, anything, I’m afraid time may be running short for us.

Well little lady I'm going thru a relationship break up right now. My vanilla wife of 26 years is divorcing me, and it's not what I want. I can't stop it, and it's proably for the best. Our problem has been the lack of ability to communicate for as long as I can member. It has been both our faults. I do and she dosen't. She does and I don't. You stated yall have talked about it. I hope that has been true communication, and just not one of you talking your mind while the other lets it in one ear and out the other. You stated yall have worked some things out, Thats good and is what a true relationship is about. You said you aren't ready to give up which is GREAT. You have a chance to continue growing together. This is a life long process. It never ends until one mate gives up. Don't give up. Keep communicating so you have the chance for your relationship to continue. Good luck. I wish you, your mate, and your relationship all the best. S G

Most of what you wrote sounds very familiar. Aside from the distance factor. I am also new to the lifestyle and new to a relationship with my Master who has been in the lifestyle for many years. He is making me take things slow on purpose I think. I was kind of frustrated until I realized that we have the rest of our lives to do all of these things that I'm curious about. There really is no need to rush it. Afterall, the experience that he has didn't happen over night. It took years for him to do all of those things too.

I would ask your Sir a few questions.....

Does he have experience with the things you want to do? Is he willing to do them again?

Does he really believe this is as far as he can/will take you? Or is it just harder for him to put the effort into it because of the time difference?

Then maybe you should make a list (Do you keep a journal for him?) of what it is you feel is missing. How far is it that you want to go? Are all of these things centered around play or are there other things, protocols or such, that you feel you are missing out on day to day? I know I have a lot of questions it's just that it's very hard to give advice when I really don't have enough information to do so.

Then I would advise you to consider joining The Womb. It is a submissives only access section of the library where we talk about all these things and more and help each other work through them confidentially. If you are interested you would need to send a private message to DiablosLittleOne and she can give you access to it. It's helping me a lot and seems to be helping the other girls too. Many of us are going through similar things.

sati

I had similar problems and I found that talking about it with my collar really helped. She wanted everything right now, but at the same time she realized that she needed to learn patience. Admittedly, I may have gone slower with some things specifically because I felt it was for her own good, and she has since thanked me appropriately.

I have found that going slow and easy is probably the best way for you to learn about yourself. Don't rush into things just because you want to, let your master know what you would like, and then let him decide when the best time would be.

For some it is the anticipation of waiting that is just as engaging as the actual activities.


Some possible solutions:
Move closer (you said it was not an option while essentially saying that it would improve things – is it really not an option?).
Be open honest and TRUST your master (this means that you have to slow down… you have the rest of your life and you are building a relationship of trust)
Probably last and least - Part ways

You are in a relationship that requires trust, trust that you will tell your Master the truth about how you feel, and trust that your master will take the things that you tell him and craft them into something that will help you grow as a person - giving you the ability to learn & experience things and the time to savor them and really reflect on what they do for you.

SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN…thanks for that, our communication is the one thing that is definitely improving

Satisfied….the problematic things are along the lines of what is expected of me, Sir is very happy with me just as I am and as much as this makes me happy it also frustrates me…how can I improve if the expectations don’t expand :P

Numenor….I’m not sure if moving closer would improve things or not, this is actually something that has helped me learn patience (ok not every day, I’m human) The problem is that when we are together I want to be challenged...to have the chance to prove myself, but he is very happy with how things are.

We have talked again, and there is no doubt in my mind that he is and will do what he can, I also noted since first posting this that I do see little tidbits of what I crave (him scolding my dog LOL) he doesn’t use a firm tone with me, so I mentioned this to him, (my way of being a bit more proactive and letting him know exactly what it is I crave) I think maybe he doesn’t see this in himself so I plan to show him, he really is wonderful in so many ways *smiles*