I'm a 40 something female biz person. Parted with my husband of 19 years a little over a year ago. Somewhat limited on participation, as I work a great deal and travel some for work.
Have lurked here and at the BDSM Lib. in the past. My life has been more than a little vanilla (straight m/f with just a bit of exposure to a bi sub girl f/f in college), while harboring some fantasies (probably pretty tame it appears) in this realm since my teens. As far as the BDSM title, never had any interest the B portion. However, some interests in various aspects of the remaining three (DSM) portions. :-)
Much of my early thoughts grew around the area of spanking other females, often somewhat older girls for reasons of discipline and/or guidance. In some cases, there were somewhat romantic feels in others not.
Over the years since then, my thoughts and fantasies have evolved more into the potential for providing that sort of situation for females my age or younger and for strange desires to possibly explore a strong dark dominate male providing some of that guidance/discipline to me.
Am somewhat confused about all of this. Have no real idea IF I could be submissive or not. Have long had some modest thoughts in this area, but a situation where an old school mate (she's was at one time a school teacher in a number of places where she moved with her husband) told me (some time ago now) about her 10 month affair with a much younger dominate black guy, while her husband was overseas in the military.
It was very hard to imagine, as she was the last person I'd expect to be submissive (she sort of rejects that label, but surely was that during this affair). I could see her possibly having an affair, but just could not see her as a submissive in any aspect of her life. What this affair did for her was also amazing, in many ways. We've talked about it a number of times and each time she just about glows from the memory. She claims she just put up with the discipline and submissive aspects because the sex was so utterly amazing. However, I'm positive that her submission and how this young (mature beyond his years) guy handled her had a dramatic effect on her.
At any rate, this situation somewhat sparks different, yet somewhat similar thoughts in me or perhaps brought long suppressed feelings more to the surface.
Again, I have modest time available and have significant doubts that I could even have an online sub/dom relationship. Not sure that it's in me and I am sure that if that part of me ever was able to be brought out it would take some doing by someone who was skilled at drawing such things out.
So, my expectations are pretty modest. Mostly reading and learning and maybe having some fun (have had some good laughs over some of the humorous stories that have been posted).
High marks to the folks who help to facilitate the various forms. So many people appear to be very friendly and supportive. Thanks for providing these forums to all of us.
Cheers!
