switching as a preference

[Kuve {Sett}]

Something I see a lot is the attitude that switching can't be a lifestyle in itself but has to be a transitional period. We see a lot of people demanding that we "make up our minds" just as bisexual people hear from the straight and gay communities. I made up My mind over 30 years ago that I was perfectly happy the way I was, Dom with some and sub with others. while I fully understand that some people do have a clear and solid preference why do they automatically assume that everyone else has to have one as well?

[newandnotsure]

I don't get it either with both switching and being bi. For those who think a person can only be one or the other, I think they're closed minded, and in some cases they are that themselves, see something wrong with it and/or don't want anyone to know and don't know how to deal. For those who are bisexual and are a switch, it works. It does depend on the person they're with, the situation and even the mood. At least that's what I've gathered from what I've seen with friend and family. If I ever get fully into BDSM with my bf, we'd be a switch couple. Even now with light play in the bedroom, one day it's my turn, the next day it's his.

[Mrs-Sett {Kuve}]

All people are complex, multifaceted, and multidimensional. When we apply labels beit scene or gender you put on blinders and see only a narrow view of an expansive and complicated human being. For many it seems simply easier to ‘pigeon’ hole a person, stereotypically placing them nicely into a compartment.

To consider that another has an ability not to sit neatly in one area I suppose could be a difficult concept to grasp for some. Switching doesn’t fit into one compartment therefore it’s a lifestyle choice in my mind.

I think it is very important to look within, to fully appreciate who you are, a unique individual. As others state above I feel Domme with some and sub with others it’s just me. I have experienced a plethora of attitudes towards this, from determined as a switch I lack the ability to make up my mind to a suggestion of being greedy. Neither which of course is appropriate. So I conclude fair enough as long as they also do me the courtesy of keeping their opinions to themselves I don’t have a problem. I accept their preference therefore accept mine.

Sett

[thir]

Something I see a lot is the attitude that switching can't be a lifestyle in itself but has to be a transitional period. We see a lot of people demanding that we "make up our minds" just as bisexual people hear from the straight and gay communities. I made up My mind over 30 years ago that I was perfectly happy the way I was, Dom with some and sub with others. while I fully understand that some people do have a clear and solid preference why do they automatically assume that everyone else has to have one as well?

Maybe it is confusing for people who feel only one side to understand, and it makes them insecure.

Especially I think it is a problem for subs if their dom is a switch, because they think this person is not 'real' or will turn on them or something.

I have known doms who actually did not dare mention their sub side to their subs, but kept it as a guilty secret, or even were tough on other doms who showed both sides, or even on subs of their own gender.

I think it is all about feeling secure.

Switches probably have to feel very secure in their identity too, because of 'bad press' in some places.

[leo9]

I had a slave once who fiercely did not want to hear about my switch side, the very idea of her Master subbing to anyone made her feel the ground was shaking. I would imagine there are Doms who are equally touchy about the idea that their sub could dominate if they chose.

It's all about being attached to a simple view of the world.