Raised by D/s parents

[Havensov]

Good day all, I am Haven the Hare. Long story, Haven is my Ren faire persona and it is much easier to go by. To start, I am a Dom, and can honestly say for most of my life. I am the only person that I know of that was raised by D/s parents.

For the most part I am the Director of IT for a label factory in MI, but I also own and run a medieval combat troupe. Add to that a love of corsets, high boots, latex, bondage, and medieval dungeons and you have a glimpse of me. Basically, an easy going Dom as long as you don’t try and force anything on me, which is my only pet peeve.

Other then that, I currently have a Pet that I have been training for the past few months. I have had a lot of good experience and always am open to sharing ideas new and old. If I can help individuals that are just starting out, wonderful. But I also know that there are still things that I have not tried or do not know.

That’s about it

Haven

[suchaminx]

Haven

~smiles~ hello and welcome to the forums. I am sure you will have fun exploring and if you have any questions please just ask, either in the forums or send me a PM.

~hugs~ minx

[frankee]

Hello Haven,

Great and interesting introduction Look around and enjoy yourself.

[dzire2pleeze]

Greetings, Haven, and welcome to the forums. Great intro by the way.

[annie]

Hi Haven and welcome!

[Timberwolf]

Quite an interesting introduction, welcome to the forums.

[Desperadosong]

Welcome aboard!!!!

Ds

[Curious_1]

Hello Haven and welcome!

I am curious to find out how being raised by parents in the lifestyle affected you. Did you know this the whole time you were growing up?

You sound like a very interesting person. Stop in the chatroom and say hi.

Curi

[Aussiegirl1]

Hi and welcome Haven,

I have to agree and say that was a very interesting intro, thank you. Looking forward to finding out more about you and about growing up as you did, it sounds rather intriquing.

Aussiegirl

[Flaming_Redhead]

That gives a whole new meaning to "home training." *giggles* You seem like a very interesting person. I'd love to see you in the chat room. Why don't you come on over and see me sometime?

[Widget]

Hello and welcom to the forums

[Tojo]

Hi & welcome Haven, hope you enjoy it here.


Tojo

[cariad]

Well, I have just had a quick peep at your other posts and can see you are making yourself at home. Welcome and I look forward to enjoying your company in Forums.

cariad

[SheepishJaina]

Welcome to the forums mate! Enjoy!

[MsUther]

Hi Haven Welcome to the site.

[MrDom]

welcome and Hello Haven

MrDom

[Havensov]

Good day to you all.

I didn’t realize that my intro would have caused such feed back, to the point of being moved to its own thread. I had know that the people that I know already in the lifestyle that I was unique to have been raised by D/s parents. Maybe it’s a bit more unique then I had originally guessed.

Some have asked what it was like being raised buy D/s parents. Well first off, no, I didn’t know that they were my whole life. I think I got my first inkling that my parents behaved a little different then my friend’s parents when I was about 12. But I wasn’t sure of it until I hit 14. Looking back I some of their behavior makes a lot more sense to me now then when I was a just a kid.

First off, when my folks were in front of us (I am the oldest of four boys) there was none of the “On your knees slave”, that was reserved to the bed room and alone time for them. One, because they told me so, two, my room used to be right above theirs and you just can’t hide the sounds of chains being pulled threw metal eye screws.

No, most of the time when they were in front of us it was very subtle D/s. Things that stick out are.
1. My mother never disagreed more then once with my father (Note, he is actually my step father, but that really has no bearing other then for facts sake). As soon as he lowed his voice that was the end of it, and my mother would always then bow her head. Now some of my friends when I was older took this as abuse, but by that time I was able to guide them away from that idea and explained as my parents were just old fashioned.
2. My mother always sat on the floor leaning against my father’s legs when we were all in the living room, say watching a movie. If you asked her it was “Oh you guys sit on the couch” or “this helps support my back” or “guests get the comfy seats”.
3. My mother always served my father any meal.
4. Now this one is going to be heard to explain… it was in their over all behavior. The way they looked at each other, the way they talked. Ok, this is going to sound cheesy, but here goes… it was like my mother was always begging for my fathers touch, but it was with her eyes, with the slight bow of her head, in very little gestures. The same from my father to her, but it was just in the way they moved around each other, like in the kitchen.
5. Lastly, when it was confirmed for me suddenly all the sounds from there room late at night made sense.

So, like I said the first time that I realized that the thoughts of control in the back of my head as I was with a girl were called BDSM, or D/s was when I had “The” talk with my father. This talk also included my fist information on BDSM. Mostly he filled me in on Domination and submission at that time. That it was voluntary, and that he could see just from the way that I was already looking at girls that I had a Dom leaning. But he made damn sure that I understood the Safe, Sane, Consensual parts, which to be honest was a big step to already understand. Already knowing that it must be consensual kept me from any of the “I am a Dom Serve me” mentality to every sub.

So, this lead to interesting HS experiences. But since this has been a long enough post, I shall leave that for later. I hope this answers some of your questions, but if raised more just ask. Like I have said I do not mind sharing, I just might keep some of the juicer details to myself.

-Haven

[Flaming_Redhead]

A perfect example of the fantasy I live with. *sigh* If only I could be so lucky.

[Aussiegirl1]

Thanks for sharing more information with us, Haven.

It was amazing to read about you looking back and realising what was really going on. How lucky you were to have such great role models and that you were guided in your journey in such a caring way.

I for one look forward to hearing a lot more.
Aussiegirl

[fuktoimaso]

Welcome Haven!

[Warbaby1943]

Haven that was very interesting, thanks for sharing.

By some of your descriptions I'm afraid some of my friends may get the opinion of my wife and me being in a BDSM relationship but it wouldn't be true in my case. She does sit at my feet and she does get meals and drinks for me all the time but it has never crossed my mind, nor hers, that it was any form of submission. Too bad to because it could have been fun. It was just the way she was raised, her mother waited on her father hand and foot too. Our friends try all the time to get her to quit waiting on me but she just keeps on doing it. Who am I to try to stop her? Better yet, why would I want to?

Maybe I'm in more of a BDSM relationship than even I realize. I got to think about that one.

[Havensov]

Well since so far people have like what I have written about my past and growing up (and, I like to share and talk, hence why I am a performer) I shall continue.

So about the time that I was really discovering girls, going through puberty, and generally figuring out about myself and who I wanted to be that every teenager goes through I had another layer added to it by my desire to be dominant. Now to shatter everyone dreams that my growing up was a D/s dream come true, my Dom leanings lead to more heartache and turmoil above and beyond what vanilla teenagers go through.

Now from talking with my mom and dad, as well as some other family friends that were either in the lifestyle or very open and knowledgeable I had gotten the basics of D/s and some of basics for bondage. So, with a few tools I set out to see what I could do.

Well, at the time the girl that I was seeing, well, she wasn’t into anything other then making out in a car… But, I do give her credit for not being completely freaked out when I brought up that I wanted to tie her up. I didn’t even get into the Domination side of things. Also, she didn’t go back to school and start telling everyone that I was a freak either, but even if she had, most wouldn’t have believed it (quick note, in HS I was a geek, nerd, choir boy, in the drama club, etc.)

Ok, so I go from girl to girl, some I didn’t event think to bring it up just from their reactions to other topics... But finally I found a girl in HS that was a little more daring and was able to try out some bondage stuff. But she was not willing to go for the submissive part.

It wasn’t until I was a junior in HS that I finely met a girl that was open to a lot more. We started out with just light bondage, we set up a safe word and every time we would get together I slowly introduce more and more D/s elements into out play. We had a great time but as with all things it had to come to end.

Now I have told you this to get to this point. All though HS and every time I had a problem with girls and BDSM I would come back to my father or one of our other family friends with lots of questions. But some of the hardest one they really couldn’t help with. Trying to have a D/s relationship in HS was very hard mostly due to every teenagers want for power. Not many teenagers are looking to be submissive at that early of an age because they already feel that they are being controlled by their parents and the school itself.

It wasn’t until collage that I had better experiences, most due to my involvement with theater, Ren Faires and through those getting to some fetish shows and demos. So all in all HS sucked I think worse for me because not only was I having all the normal HS bull, but I had more info then most teenagers on D/s and really wanted to get into it more but couldn’t.

Oh well, it was still a learning experience.

[Warbaby1943]

Thanks again for sharing your life. It is very interesting reading.

[Havensov]

Collage, first marriage, and the real fun begins.

I took a year off after high school and collage to have some fun and enjoy the freedoms of being an adult. This is when I really started to get my feet wet in BDSM and started having some real fun. The nice thing was that just about everyone I met from this time to the end of collage around my age was wanting to experiment with everything.

Unfortunately I made a bad decision (not knowing at that time) and was involved and eventually married someone that ended up being very very vanilla. But, I had a lot of friends and the relationship was on and off for the first two years. Add to that a lot of friends that wanted to know more and came to me for advice and to learn. So I found myself kind of the confidont and teacher of a lot of my friends and their friends in BDSM.

So, even though the girl I was with wanted nothing to do other then lie on her back I was able to teach, learn, and experiment on a lot of my friends. One of the most memorable times that comes to mind was while at a friend’s house for an impromptu party. There was about 20 or so people at the appt and the discussion turned as it always does with collage aged kids to sex.

A male of a couple that I hadn’t met till that night responded to his girl after she had made a crude comment at his expense that she needed a spanking. This lead to my friends that was hosting saying, rather loudly that I could show them a thing or two about that. After a bit of goading and trying to get out of it, I reluctantly stood before most of the party in the living room asking for a volunteer.

As it happened the girl that had made the crude comment jumper up and came to me. I went threw the basics of sensual spanking and punishment spanking and then showed them on her with her standing, bent at the waist holding a chair, and then over my knee. While she was bent over the chair I cracked that the sound is much better when delivered to bare skin and not to tight denim. Before I knew it she had pulled her jeans to her ankles exposing her thong divided ass. This led to woops and hollers of most of the assembled and a few pats of congrats to her guy.

All in all this took about a half hour, and the volunteer was quiet flushed and very horny. After I told her I was done with her, she pulled up her pants, walked (or stumbled) to her guy, kissed him and then they disappeared to somewhere else in the house. Before I knew it I was field questions on everything from wax play to the definitions of BDSM. It was great to have an outlet for all the knowledge that I gathered and learned.

Before the night was out I had answered at least 100 questions and demonstrated flogging, leather clothing care, submissive positions, proper use of cuffs and wax play. All in all it was a great night. I went home with a high that I had not gotten since I jump out of a perfectly good aircraft. The next day I had to tell someone, because my girl wanted to hear nothing about it so I ended up over at my folk’s house. I told them all that had happened and they were quite impressed. They even went as far as to give me some other advice as to how to better show some of the flogging and binding with chain techniques.

As it ended up, I started getting calls from those people at the party as well as other that had heard about it asking questions and wanting to know if I could help them out. The most common one was “how do I talk to my girl/guy about wanting to do this.” Sound familiar anyone?

So all in all, this was a great time for me BDSM wise. How ever, the rest of my life was going down the toilet. But that’s for later, thanks for reading. Feel free to ask any questions, as this shows I love to share and teach.

[elyse]

Welcome, Haven! I hope you enjoy your time here
-- elyse