How to encourage his dominance to match my natural submission

[just_ine]

You *go* girl! *grins* I hope it is the first of many to come.

I think we sometimes under estimate the social pressure men needs to overcome to be able to comfortably 'use' his partner.
Everything around them dictates how a woman should be pampered, handled with care etc etc, and to make that mental shift of actually a huge step for us... So....patience and perserverance would be my advice.

[spartanracer]

I agree. This mental shift is like a cultural shift. AS a sweet, soft spoken man myself, it has been difficult to be domineering. It has been a challenge to both of us because the brat in her submissiveness does not trigger my dominance. It triggers my dismissal. So, her way of saying that she needs dominance (being a brat) actually causes my dominance to dismiss her. If she is dismissed, she is more bratty, more dismissing, until it is no longer dominance but aggrivation.

Another aspect that I have had to overcome is the fear of loosing her. The natural cultural mindset is that if a man disrespects a woman or acts domineering towards her then she should leave. Now, I am being told that this is what keeps her! AHHH~ See the frustration.

I have had to develop some simple tangible things for me to be dominate on. I trained my sub on how to take a spanking. How she is t react when I am done and not be a brat. Like anything, it starts out small and relationally.
What concerns me about BDSM porn, llike kink.com, is that that is just he surface of BDSM and the pinnacle so to speak. But the reality is so much more and requires so much more skill.

[spartanracer]

I agree. This mental shift is like a cultural shift. AS a sweet, soft spoken man myself, it has been difficult to be domineering. It has been a challenge to both of us because the brat in her submissiveness does not trigger my dominance. It triggers my dismissal. So, her way of saying that she needs dominance (being a brat) actually causes my dominance to dismiss her. If she is dismissed, she is more bratty, more dismissing, until it is no longer dominance but aggrivation.

Another aspect that I have had to overcome is the fear of loosing her. The natural cultural mindset is that if a man disrespects a woman or acts domineering towards her then she should leave. Now, I am being told that this is what keeps her! AHHH~ See the frustration.

I have had to develop some simple tangible things for me to be dominate on. I trained my sub on how to take a spanking. How she is t react when I am done and not be a brat. Like anything, it starts out small and relationally.
What concerns me about BDSM porn, llike kink.com, is that that is just he surface of BDSM and the pinnacle so to speak. But the reality is so much more and requires so much more skill.