Two Road Whores, Rode Hard.

[amandaserve]

I have had this idea for a story for a while.

Essentially, a bored house wife gets online through yahoo and meets a trucker. She ends up agreeing to meet him and serve him and brings her teenage daughter along for the ride.

Along the way, some of the flirty/slutty things the trucker has the wife do, actually appeals to the daughter.

After all, we live an in age where Brittany Spears vagina on the NBC news, and shows called "That's just wrong..." are on TV and so being told to wear a skirt and pretend to be playing an arcade game where you have to 'bend over' and show your ass to people who pass by, may start to sound kind of fun/cool.

Here are my questions.


---The title, is that grammatically correct?

Two Road Whores, Rode Hard.

(I was going to put Two Road Whores, Rode Too Hard) but realized they'd be ridden just hard enough. It is kind of a tongue twister is the reason I chose it.)

I also have a story called "Best Springer Ever" about a family that is selected to be on the show Jerry Springer after a bunch of really crazy things happen, and had even thought about merging this story into that one as I could see how it would happen, but I wanted to kind of evolve the main character of two road whores as someone who was 'normal' and chose to do this to add some spice to her hum drum life and for her own personal demons.

(There are some details I am leaving out as to how the teenage daughter ultimately chooses to participate, as the woman was going to be very concerned about how they approach this and leaving her daughter behind. This was not the only choice for the teenage daughter).

Having said that, my other question;

---Should this be a narrative of events from the point of view of
A) An impersonal narrator who describes what happens?
B) The Trucker
C) The Main Character?

I do not see the teenage daughter being the narrator for this. I think there are pros and cons to each choice, and will change the flavor and value of the story.

Usually when I read option A, they are kind of hum drum. Just a collection of "Then this happened, then he did that toher, then he did this to her". But at the same time it is the safest approach, because I would not alienate the reader.

Option B, is hard for me to get my head around, but its the point of view of the trucker, what matters to him is to get these bitches trained to his liking.

Option C, is the wife. Thats the one I can see from her perspective, but now it will lengthen the story as she gives her observations and thought process.

I have been stuck on starting this story for a while, so answers there would help. I am also willing to collaborate on this story!

[Dragon's muse]

Question 1

If it were my story, i would go with "Road Whores Ridden Hard".
That is what i would do, but it is your story. call it what you want to.

Question 2

Writing from the omniscent narrator works best for me, because i can get into everyone's head. It is hard to develop all the characters really when you only have the POV of one.

First person is difficult to write well, even though it seems so easy. It takes a LOT of work to overcome the "what i did on summer vacation" feel.

JUst my tuppence. As always, your mileage may vary. Bon chance.

rose

PS ~~ You might get more feedback if you put this in the pencil sharpening or story ideas forums.

[amandaserve]

Thank you!

I say "Two Road Whores, Rode Hard" because there will be two when all said and done.

Is it ever appropriate to post the first couple chapters to see what people think?

[Dragon's muse]

Not a problem at all, but you will get more traffic if you put in in "Story reviews/Story feedback" forum. More people go there.

[amandaserve]

I put the initial story there, up to the point I decided I was not sure how to create the most plausible/interesting next steps for the story. It is at a cross road. I know I want the daughter to go on the trip, but whether it be as a result of her fighting with her husband and the daughter going with, or for some other reason I do not know.

So far, no feedback, but hopefully someone will chime in.

Thank you for your help.

[amandaserve]

(sorry double post)