I can sympathize with your plight. I divorced after 10 years and began exploring this lifestyle online. The problem was that all the guys I tried to date got completely weirded out whenever I tried to explain what I was into. I gave up trying to date vanilla men since I'd already decided I could never be happy in another relationship of that sort and ended up posting a profile on a BDSM dating site. Imagine my surprise when the first guy I agreed to meet for dinner turned out to be most wonderful man imaginable, and 2 1/2 months later, he gives me the best birthday present ever!!!!

If you are really determined to broach the subject with your guy, there are suggestions in Knowledge Base and My BDSM Life. Use the search function located in the tool bar at the top of your screen to quickly find helpful threads. I guess it all depends on how patient your are and how much effort you think it's worth to start from scratch versus just finding a Dom with 20 years experience. Best of luck in whatever you choose to pursue!