Quote Originally Posted by hikochan View Post
I feel a little like I'm walking into a lion's den, but I need some kind of release! I've been with a man for six years now that is so vanilla. His wildest fantasy involves me wearing a school girl outfit - which wouldn't be so bad if we could at least get some good student/teacher rp out of it or something. Unfortunately he just wants the outfit and then business as usual. I've tried to get him to do ANYTHING that might be even a little dominating but he won't even pull my hair because he's afraid he might hurt me. Explaining that I WANT it to hurt just makes him uncomfortable. So what's a girl to do? I've been using my toys alone and fantasizing about the terrible things that I want and feeling like a huge perv for even wanting these things.

I want to find a way to get this need taken care of, but I also know that the world is a scary place sometimes. I don't want to end up with someone who will not respect my limits like I did last time. I'm hoping that actually being involved in a community like this will help me to find the right person and weed out some of the real creeps.

Just out of curiosity, how many other people here started or are currently in this situation? How do you cope? And, LOL, it suddenly struck me as very funny that I basically just asked 'how do you cope when your man won't hurt you?'. Anyway...I look forward to talking with you all!
Oh boy, I feel your pain. I don't have any brilliant advice to offer - I'm not coping very well right now myself. There are lots of threads here on the forums that talk about this. I don't know how to paste thread links or I'd do so...just look around My BDSM Life and this forum too, you'll find lots of advice, lots of information and other women who are going through the same thing, talking about how they deal with it. One thing I can tell you from personal experience - don't be a brat, don't try to piss him off so he'll take over - that'll just get you worse off (and in my case, almost stranded by the side of the road) and will make you feel like shit.

Sympathizing,
jeanne