Oooh! Very dark and scary. Nicely done and probably going to give me nightmares (or wetter dreams) thinking about the leading lady.

The length is right on target for this piece and will only be a bit longer when you refresh.

From an editing point of view, there are a number of places that need to be switched from third person into first.

Your next assignment is to give this an editing refresh and go one step further. Make me believe that this was written by a woman.

What does she smell, see, feel, hear, touch?
Change the descriptions so I know that she is giving them to me.

Does a woman describe her own breasts as billowing?
Or her own thighs as creamy or milky white?
Perhaps if she's got great self esteem, however, she
might describe some of the attributes of her husband
in glowing terms.

By the way, what does John look like?
Smell like?
Feel like - rough or soft hands? skin? clothing?

Versus:

For the first time ever, I hated my husband.
That line rocks! Now that's emotion, gripping, and gut wrenching.

Looking forward to suggestions from your other students and your new version.

Keep up the great work,

Ruby