well, at first the sheer length put me off (am i a fine one to speak???) and i don't know about O/other readers but i actually find it hard to read online so i had to print it all - that's another set of cartridges gone LOL.

as to the story, umm it was a bit detailed at times and other times i felt i had read soemthing similar earlier in the text. i'm not the right person to criticize this because i have a tendency to repeat phrases and things too!

did it "work" for me? well, yes it did. i don' resent the paper and ink or the time it took to read the story in fact i thought about it afterwards which for me is a good sign. like when reading the end of Philip Pullman's Dark Materials trilogy, or the Kushiel stories that i keep carping on about (sorry!). for me, if a story has an "afterburn", it hit the mark - no matter how skillful or how long.

thank You for bringing it to my attention, Rabbit1!