Sooo... I've joined sites before where you introduce yourself but no one ever looks there; so when i joined here i expected it to be the same. obligatory post, then get out on the threads. Not so on this site, i see! I'm delighted by the warmth here, i must say But since it is the case that you all clearly care about who is joining your community and care that they feel welcome, I'd like to retroactively re-introduce myself, if that's alright

I'm 25 years old, always wanted to try something 'different' in relationships. It's not that i didn't know what i wanted- i knew exactly what i wanted, but i was too embarrassed to admit that i wanted it to my boyfriends. To be fair, my imagination was limited (lack of experience and resources) and i was hazy on the details... But i nonetheless had the broad strokes of what i was secretly hoping would happen (one day, spontaneously, without me ever having to say anything... ah, youth); and i gravitated to the charismatic, powerful figures around me in the hopes they would oblige. No luck-- at best they just turned out to be jerks And jerks with no rope, on top of that!

Eventually i filed it away as a lost cause and forgot about it.

Fast forward to a month ago, I'm dating this guy, he's a nice, stand up person. At his house i notice he's got a bar installed in a doorway. "Oh, that?" he says when i ask. "it's for doing chin ups. i installed it when i moved in and never used it." Reasonable; I swing on it a few times for funsies. We kiss at the end of the night (a lot), and his hand creeps up my spine and holds me to him at the base of my neck. Not gently, either. Suddenly, i have a sneaking suspiscion that i've just gleaned some information about him, and i strongly suspect that 'chin up bar' story is BS. A few days later, we're talking about the sexy stuff, and he asks, all casual.... and by that point i was just waiting for him to give it away because i *just* knew it was probably right...

"So... have you ever been tied up?" He says.
"Aha! I totally knew it!" I whooped. "That bar's not for chin ups, you big faker!"
He laughed. I went on, "I'll bet you have a headboard on your bed with bars, too!"
"... Yes, i do."
"I totally called it. I knew it!"

That brings me to where I am now. Very enthusiastic, completely level zero. I was a little skittish at first, but that's passed. Very excited to finally be doing what i always wanted to do, and had given up for loss. Oh, yeah, and that not asking for what i want thing? That's for the birds. I'm all about the research and the special requests now. And i know that turn about is fair play, i expect to be talked to a lot. Like i say (now), "I can't say 'no' if you don't ask, and you can't win if you don't play."