welcome to the lifestyle, not worried to much about the particulars, but if she brought it up, ask her about what she percieves the relation ship roles are to be and ttell her you rexpectations then journey together through the library, ask the nice people here, main thing is if it's going to be a relationship it needs to be done together, sure extra research is good, but if both are doing it at the same time, you can share your discoveries as they are fresh in the mind, and you can talk over them, after a while you'll see the pattern of how things are wanted, wished for, and through experience you'll be able to discard that which doesn't work. i've had my share of wierdness. ask the people here, i'm sure they know by now i'm pretty open about my life and what i think from the brief time i've been posting here