I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. I know what your going through as I lost my mother about 20 years ago when I was 17. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer and after she had surgery to remove the tumor we thought she had it beat. We found out a few months later that that just wasn't so. She died 9 months after she was diagnosed. It was fast, but she suffered horribly and I found out the hard way that it had attacked her brain and didn't recognise any of her loved ones. Myself included.

I was very close to my mother and still miss her to this day. Everyone before me who said that we all grieve differently were absolutely right. I was the type of person that prefered to be by myself. I hated it when people kept wanting to talk about it. The only one that could get close to me at the time...was a friend of mine who was only 13. It seems odd but I didn't even want to talk about it with my best friend, but I could talk about it with him. He didn't judge my feelings or my form of grieving. He just let me vent when I needed to. He didn't try to come up with clever stories that might help me feel better or keep telling me he was sorry about it. That's just what helped me though. My father and I would make jokes to help us get through. There is no wrong answer in a situation like this.

What I like to do is to express my condolences and then step back and let the person come to me if they need me. I've found that to be the most effective form of help. I'm there if you need me, but if you don't want me then I won't continue to bug you. Just let me know if you want to talk and whenyou want me to I'll add my wisdom and experience...if I can (I'm no genius, just expeienced).

I will do the same for you....I know I don't know you and you don't know me....hell this is only my second post LOL, but if you need someone to vent to or just to talk out how you feel...my e-mail is raven91596@yahoo.com and of course that is my yahoo ID if you have it. Just remember one thing....her passing will be a relief to her if nothing else as it was for my mother...that made it just the tiniest bit easier. My blessings to you and your mother.