We're getting a lot of mileage out of this one, eh Rachel?

Some categories of act:

*You do something your Dom wants but you yearn to do it anyway. So you'll be obedient, willing, submissive and, presumably, gratified. It's lovely but there is limited long-term challenge to your submission here.

You do it because you're expected to but it takes only easy obedience and little heart-tugging submission on your part. Too many of these and you wonder about the value of your relationship.

*You do it because you're expected to do it, it doesn't appeal to you per se but you're happy to do it to please the other person. Obedience is taken for granted but the submission is more valuable then, I think.

*You find something difficult and challenging to do and you are not merely obedient about it but willing and surrendered. That's when submission is a real gift, in my opinion. That willingness is not something the Dom can take from you. He can only set up the conditions in which this willingness will be found for him. It takes strength, to give all in the right spirit. This is what I look for at the heart of my relationship.