when vanilla people try to talk about kink

[leah06]

But what I really wanted to ask is...does anyone else ever gets exasperated and angry with this whole need for secrecy? I mean it is not like I want to tell all and sundry, and this isn't all I am, but it is a very big part of me.

When my Husbands ex wife died, her parents fought us for custody - their case was slim, and we won, but if this had come out, there is no doubt in my mind that their chance would have risen by as much as 50%. And considering our chosen careers (mine more so than His) - it just isn't worth it.

One of our kid's friends Mom, not so long ago asked me about "the locked room", I almost told her, but I am pretty sure she was of the type. Instead I said that that is where we keep my Husbands antique gun collection.

The moral: guns - good, sex - bad. C'est la vie.

Maybe it's different for those of us with kids. I can't begin to imagine discussing this even in passing, even in the same kind of broad details my friends use to regale me with tales of their sex lives. So I let it go. Sometimes it's fun to answer their questions totally truthfully, but completely blandly, and to know that there's just a lot more to the story than they're hearing. You can slip in a double entendre, too. So, you know, sometimes I crack myself up, but that's about it.

Yes, AdrianaAurora, four-legs good, two-legs bad.

[satisfied]

Maybe it's different for those of us with kids.

Nope. Not me. I have kids and I still will answer anything. Everyone who knows me in RL is very aware that you do not ask me a question unless you are prepared to hear the truth. I do not take any of the responsibility if my friends are traumatized by our conversations. They have all been warned before hand. Maybe becoming my friend should come with a little disclaimer........WARNING: Do not talk to me unless you are prepared to hear the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!

Q. Does this shirt and skirt go together?
A. Absolutely not. Go change.( What? I'm supposed to let them go out in public like that? That's not a very good friend thing to do.)

Q. I've heard that anal sex hurts very very bad so i'd never be willing to try it.
A. Well, as a matter of fact................

LMAO. My sister still doesn't want to try it, but at least she's well informed now!

I do however put a filter on it when older people or minors are around. The only exception to that is if the older person actually wants to know.

I know, i know....i'm a fruitcake. i've heard it before.

[Cinquieme]

Does anyone else have these issues, where you just want to fix their misconceptions, but don't want to completely 'out' yourself, or gross them out, etc. What do you do?

I'm very open with my online friends ('nilla or not), but I haven't told any of my real life friends yet, so I tend to be a little shy on the subject when it comes up. Before I got into it, I was one of those vanilla people that would occasionally joke around about it. Not in a judgmental way, but I had certain misconceptions due to ignorance. Someone took the time to explain everything to me one time, and after being educated on the subject, I decided that I identified with it. Who knows, maybe if some 'nilla friends get educated on it, they'd want to try it too!

[love2serve]

I told my husband quite recently (in the last 6mths) about my tendencies towards this lifestyle, and on the whole, although it does nothing for him he has been supportive and even tried to satisfy me in that way. But he still slips little things into conversation like ' oh there was a film on late last night, i recorded it, thought u'd be interested as its about weirdos like you' - leading me to believe that he is very far from understanding my need to submit. My best friend however, when i told her, was (and is) a tower of strength, she doesnt totally understand my need for my master, and always jokes that she would far rather wield the whip than submit to it, but she never judges me and if i tell her things about my masters tasks for me or what we did when we met she is never shocked or disgusted, but asks me intelligent and caring questions and tells me she will always be there for me. But i also notice on tv that its always the comedy character who is wielding a whip and dressed head to foot in leather!! The woman who is submissive is always the underdog, the weak one - they never add that to submit, totally to someone else is one of the hardest things to do and requires inner strength and trust the likes of which ordinary folk do not possess. So if people want to perceive me as a poor girl who enjoys being made to crawl and kneel for a guy who is sitting back in his chair staring deep into her eyes as she makes every part of herself available to him, for his use and his use only........ well let them - i know where i'd rather be.

[trebor]

"You can slip in a double entendre, too. So, you know, sometimes I crack myself up, but that's about it."

love it!