The "submission is a gift" is one of the few statements that really sticks in my craw. I used to sort of agree with it, in that submission is something that is given, however my take on the subject has shifted away from there over time.

Part of the problem is the use of the word "gift". "Gift" carries implications that it is something awarded or a present. This leads to submissives demanding that a dominant "earn" their submission, or some such nonsense (doing this will put you on the expressway to my bad side). The only way I can somewhat agree with that statement is if "gift" is defined only as "something that is given".

The other part of the problem is the black and white phrasing. It creates a dichotomy of either all submission being given or no instance of submission is given. This simply isn't the case. It is nearly impossible to actually 'force' anyone to do anything, as anything under conscious control requires the person to make a choice. However, not all instances of submission are accompanied by the perception of choice. If someone doesn't perceive that they had a choice, did they really have one? In fact, there is a significant subset of submissive desires which is characterized by the submissive feeling that he/she does not have a choice. I would be hard pressed to find a solid argument that submission was given in those cases.

So submission can be given, it can be taken, but it is not a 'gift' as the word is commonly used.