Female dysfunction...thoughts?

[the_moirae]

Thank you rubyred88 & jezabel {ukMC}

[love2serve]

wow, what an interesting thread you started Kay. I sympathise with you, as I share part of your problem. I have never cum from penetration, I do however enjoy some fantastic orgasms with toys or just by my hand alone. (My husband loves to watch me cum although he still thinks its quite abnormal only to cum this way). The thing which really vexes me is that no matter how much I am stimulated by my Master I have never cum for him. I spend hours literally on the edge, my whole body crying out for release, but find it only ever happens hours maybe, after we have parted. My Master has never mentioned that he has any problem with this but I wish I could cum for him more than anything in the world. (Sometimes I wonder if its guilt - my husband doesnt know that I see my Master? Who knows how the human mind/body react to such emotions) but know, Kay, that we all have our problems where sex is concerned - let no-one tell you that their sex-life is absolutely perfect because if they do they are liars. Jeanne hit the nail on the head with her comments about not being self-conscious about your looks or body as your Master chose you and therefore wants you as you are, not as you wish you were! and Craven as always imparts wisdom as he goes - try to relax and become comfortable with who you are (easy to give advice and not so easy to follow - i know that from experience, lol) but hopefully with the advice from all the helpful people above who have posted replies, and patience on you and your Masters part your goal will be reached. Much luck to you Kay x

[Kahlann]

Cumming from penetration? I thought my friends were just making things up!

Yeah I can't get off that way. Not for lack of trying. My friend instantly had no trouble when she started having sex. Different people need different things. I can only get off from direct stimulation to my clit. I mean it feels great from just penetration, but it can't get me off.

I've had guys get frustrated that it also takes me a long time usually to get off. It's very rare that I can cum in under 20 minutes. Whether I'm in control or someone else. Other people that I know however have multiple in that time. grr.

So the point... It's just how your body is. If he wants to take the time and learn your triggers I'm sure he can bring you to have many more. There's nothing wrong in any way. It's pure biology. I'm sure it all goes back to the fact women are designed to take longer, so that they orgasm after the man, to increase chance of pregnancy. Something about the muscle contractions help to move the sperm up... I haven't taken anatomy is a while.

[buDdha]

Hi Kay, and everyone -- this has been a really great thread to read. I've spent years feeling guilty for having a difficult time cumming. It got to the point where I was afraid to have sex with my hubby b/c I got so anxious about it.

I have to agree with my fellow posters that, for me anyhow, anxiety was a major culprit. The more anxious I got, the more difficult it was for me to relax, to enjoy myself. I've tried worrying less, and although I still only cum sometimes, at least I'm allowing myself the pleasure of intimacy more often.

And that's the second problem, for me. I was so focused on orgasm -- or my failure to do so -- that I wasn't enjoying the play. I kept trying to orient myself to orgasm rather than enjoying subtle sensations. One thing I found that helped was to spend time with myself, and my hubby, just focusing on feeling sensual.

One "task" to try is to enjoy touching (yourself or each other) with the express purpose of NOT cumming. If you know from the get-go that orgasm is not the goal, then you can focus on other things, like appreciating other bodily sensations. You might like to do this every week or whatever, so that you can enjoy the feeling of intimacy without having to worry about being anxious. You might take a nice bath with yourself and just feel the water moving over your body.

I still get really frustrated, sometimes -- good luck, and remember to love yourself for where you're at right now. You're a sweet kitten who needs affection and gentle guidance, and there's nothing "wrong" with you.