i agree with ppr, getting to know the person in a plantonic level that way you can see if you can stand being around that person. Having safety calls, and precautions in place makes things for everyone. When UJD and I were together and we were going through the process of getting to know each other, he informed me that having safetycalls, and a safetynet in place had to be set up. That he wouldve felt that I didnt do my submission justice by not having one.
When i went to go meet up with him, I had safety calls in place and ppl knew my exact loactions just in case. Plus my phone stayed on me at all times, even near by when i slept. Also when he came to visit me, i made sure that people knew his whereaouts and what was going on. I made sure that my cell phone stayed on that way he knew that i wasnt trying to be dodgey.

Plus we also have to remember to use common sense. ALOT of people, especially submissives lose it, they act as if they can only think with their asscheeks or their pussies/cocks, etc. That everyone in this lifestyle is sane, and responsible, who knows ma ybe alot of people are but not all are. So making sure that you can listen and trust your gut works wonders.
Sometimes meetings dont work out, sometimes the people dont seem the same as they are online but we still have to be cautious and be able to trust ourselves when something just dont feel right.