R is for Rape Fantasies

[Euryleia]

With the recent posts from and about those who have survived sexual abuse, I thought it might be a good idea to focus on the idea of rape fantasies.

Despite, or maybe because of, all the negative connotations of rape there are many people, both male and female, who have fantasies about rape or being raped. Fantasy rape should not be mistaken for actual rape--during a fantasy rape scene the ‘victim’ still has the right and ability to stop the scene and end the fantasy.

The negotiations for fantasy rape scenes should be quite extensive. Prior to the commencement of the scene, discuss all the details. Here are some sample questions:

1. Will a weapon be used?
2. Will there be abusive language or name calling?
3. Will humiliation or degradation be involved?
4. Will there be actual penetration?
5. Will there be physical violence?
6. What is the safe word?
7. Will the scene be scheduled or will it be a surprise?
8. Will it involve kidnapping?
9. Will it involve a mask, blindfold, bondage, or costumes?
10. What are the limits (choking, slapping, fisting, etc)?
11. Will it involve bodily fluids? If so what type of precautions will be used (condoms, gloves, etc)?
12. At what point will the scene stop?

The main thing to remember is that this is role-play. The ‘victim’ of this type of play is completely in control. It is vital that the Dominant respect all negotiations and limits within the scene. NEVER ignore a safe word, even when the scene is designed to create a feeling of helplessness and fear. To ignore the safe word would take this fantasy out of role-play and slam you back into reality, where rape is really rape.

Be advised that a person who initially consents to sexual conduct is not deemed to have consented to any sexual conduct that occurs after s/he withdraws consent. In other words, if at anytime your partner safe words out and says “No,” stop immediately.

Rape is a dreadful experience and it can be particularly heinous when it involves a Dominant and a slave/sub. The level of trust that must be present for a BDSM relationship to be successful is high, and when that trust is broken, the results can be devastating. Never risk your bond for the fleeting fulfillment of a fantasy.

Keep it safe, sane and consensual and everybody wins.

[devilishsub]

I think a lot of the issues with this type of fantasy is in calling it a "rape fantasy". To avoid this and all the negative connotations with the word rape, I refer to it as a "surprise sex fantasy." I've created the limits and chosen who it is with even if I dont know when its coming.

[thrall]

for me.......having the connotation...rape is what makes so very good...

its head space...

[nutta]

My Sub has this fantasy and i am not sure wheter or not to fulfill it for her for a number of reasons, One is the how do you actually play a scene that seems as a real rape, Two, while in the scene what are the chances od my sub becoming emotional and believing it is rape and not her just bing submissive. we do have our safe word for every scene that we have done thus far but in a rape scene i still cant fathom her not using it off the bat due to the natural fear that women have of being raped.

[BryansGrrrl]

I have acted one of these out in a vanilla relationship (this is as close to kink as that ever got). The person I was with used some words that I was not comfortable with, but unfortunately, I did not realize that I wasn't until the scene was already happening and the words were said.

I was able to overcome the discomfort and finish the scene.

We then discussed those words and actions that made me uncomfortable and agreed to not have that happen again.

I have discussed my issues with this type of scene with Mia'Cova as well. He is aware of my issues and we will do our best, if we act out this kind of fantasy, to address all of them that we can before implementing the scene.

I think a safe-word is crucial here, due to the fact that unforseen reactions CAN and DO occur. Especially if you are the victim of abuse. You may think that you're over it, but things like this could trigger additional memories, etc. that you may not be prepared to deal with. If you have any concerns at all: talk, talk, talk, then talk some more.

[Ozme52]

I have acted one of these out in a vanilla relationship (this is as close to kink as that ever got). The person I was with used some words that I was not comfortable with, but unfortunately, I did not realize that I wasn't until the scene was already happening and the words were said.

I was able to overcome the discomfort and finish the scene.

We then discussed those words and actions that made me uncomfortable and agreed to not have that happen again.

I have discussed my issues with this type of scene with Mia'Cova as well. He is aware of my issues and we will do our best, if we act out this kind of fantasy, to address all of them that we can before implementing the scene.

I think a safe-word is crucial here, due to the fact that unforseen reactions CAN and DO occur. Especially if you are the victim of abuse. You may think that you're over it, but things like this could trigger additional memories, etc. that you may not be prepared to deal with. If you have any concerns at all: talk, talk, talk, then talk some more.

Makes one wonder what the specific words were...

Care to share?

Not to mention...

[Ozme52]

Interesting how a topic can languish for over 6 months... and suddenly garner new interest.

I was, of course, on the road when this first appeared.

I certainly enjoy both nc sex stories, and some of the hottest erotica is forced sex with the woman's body "betraying" her.

One way to "enact" a rape fantasy might be to wrestle. Avoid actual physical damage, but the purpose of the bout to be attaining/avoiding penetration.

[brwneydgirl]

I'm just in a kind of mood today...it's nice to see these threads again. I'd forgotten all about them.

[naughtyminx]

I have this fantasy. I told my Master that I would like to go to Goodwill or somewhere I can buy some relatively inexpensive clothing. This way He can rip or cut it off of me with no real harm done to my wardrobe or 'good clothes'. When He lays these clothes out for me to wear then I will know something special at some point in the day may or may not happen. The anticipation will probably be most delightful.

[brwneydgirl]

When He lays these clothes out for me to wear then I will know something special at some point in the day may or may not happen. The anticipation will probably be most delightful.

I hear you on that one...I find the anticipation of the desired activity to be *almost* as good as the actual activity....

What? I said almost...

[maxorchid]

I have abduction and rape fantasies, i love the struggles, the fear, the helplessness, the screaming and more. I love the effect this has on my mind and body.