For pretty much anything in the USA, if you look up Darkheart (who's list is hit and miss) and The Dominant's View (who's list is also hit and miss) for their community links, you can find local groups within a couple hours at the most.

As Fet is growing, it's popularity is generating a more accurate accounting of the active groups for various areas than many of the other sites out there. When I listened to Jon Baku (the guy who created Fetlife) speak at one of our kink community gatherings, his humble statement of his mission for the site impressed me. I also find myself using that site for communicating with my kink friends far more than I use any other site. For locating people and groups, I find the construction of his site rather useful.

There are a few other kink sites out there, but their popularity is either dismal, or full of bullshit.

For locating others though, if you look for BDSM and Personals, you'll find a plethora of sites. You just have to weed out the ones that are clearly not what you want to use.