Male submissives

[Mr_Clock]

First time poster... and first day on the forum. I wanted to respond to moonlitsub's original question with my two cents. I haven't been on this site because I feel like being a male sub is such a minority already and from playing on the yahoo rp chat rooms that trying to find a woman just interested in online play is very hard. So I've been discouraged and haven't looked.

Additionally (and more of a side note) I don't know if it's just me, but while I have fantasies about femdom I find that when I read a story involving femdom, or watch a video I'm not nearly as turned on as I thought I might be. Perhaps this supports the theory that men are looking to have a specific script acted on.

[moonlitsub]

hm... mindofasubpgh it could possibly be it just isn't want your looking for I know without realizing it that when I watch porn especially vanilla I usually see myself in the girls possition "taking it" or taking an image and instead of how vanilla guy see fucking the girl I just see her topping my subby ass. Also even more so I know what you mean I seem to have different taste then what the professionals think is good, or writers (so I just write my own stuff.) but I find that a lot of porn vanilla, fetish or other isn't as great as it could be. I also remember the saying that we are the ones that knows what turns us on the most.

[voxelectronica]

hm... mindofasubpgh it could possibly be it just isn't want your looking for I know without realizing it that when I watch porn especially vanilla I usually see myself in the girls possition "taking it" or taking an image and instead of how vanilla guy see fucking the girl I just see her topping my subby ass.

I find this really interesting because I knew that I was at least a switch when I started watching porn and identifying in the male role... I knew it was totally true when I started imagining the male role as my role during vanilla sex.

[Mr_Clock]

Moonlit.. it is nice to see I'm not alone in my views.

[Mr_Clock]

It is interesting to see how one identiifes. I typically identify with the man in porn be it vanilla or something harder. However, when watching harder stuff (or reading a story) I do feel a bit of jealously watching the woman climax while restrained in one way or another.

[Lisais mine]

It is interesting to see how one identiifes. I typically identify with the man in porn be it vanilla or something harder. However, when watching harder stuff (or reading a story) I do feel a bit of jealously watching the woman climax while restrained in one way or another.

It really is interesting. bryan'sgrrl and I were looking at bdsm porn over at this morning, when we realized that I'm more interested in pictures of girls faces- when they look a little nervous(because that face or a whimper isthe hottest thing to me). she likes to see that strong Dom arm or face.

and Oz, I think you are right about the "topping from the Bottom thing. if I had a sub who thought they could control the scene we were in, I would love it- it's a chance to disabuse them of the idea they had that power. communication needs or desires is fine. but if I'm in charge, I'm in charge.

[voxelectronica]

It really is interesting. bryan'sgrrl and I were looking at bdsm porn over at this morning, when we realized that I'm more interested in pictures of girls faces- when they look a little nervous(because that face or a whimper isthe hottest thing to me).

mmmm yeah. I don't have to watch anything else but her face.

[moonlitsub]

Actually for a long time I always thought that I was identifying with the man in the porn but it wasn't until I was able to admit to myself that it was the women I was identifying with. I find I keep only saying "this is what turns me on" and that is only the aspects about myself I am able to identify with.

[moonlitsub]

Sigh I wish I could pin down what really really really gets me going, some days it lips of a close friend as she tells me a story for awhile it was when I burned myself at work (500 degree ovens) and that lasting pulsing pain, one that always works is blood seeping out of my skin. In porn itself I don't think it is actual images from the porn I tend to take the people I see in all there fully exposed splendor and create fantasies in my mind with them.

[Guera]

Lots of good information was lost, plus some silliness... I think FetishDJ mentioned that sub male physiologists are extra fun in bed, and I pointed out that mechanics are also very useful in bed. and other places.

[spank_my_]

My personal experience...

I joined a week or two ago.

I had a look at the welcome postings and at the submissives seeking Masters forum postings. I noticed that female subs get quite a few responses, Male subs get very few, if any.

Undeterred, I posted a introduction and "seeking" messages. I got the few "welcome" messages which i did appreciate, but no interest (as yet) from a Domme.

My profile isn't a 200 page novel, but it is not empty either.

I will keep checking back, but i'm also looking elsewhere.

I guess that is what the other male subs did too.

Perhaps if i keep looking, i'll find where the other male subs have gone. Maybe i'll find the dungeon and my superDomme.

still hopeful
sm_

[fetishdj]

Its all about what you can do to repair problems 'under the hood'

[Guera]

as well as routine maintenance, plus trouble shooting and diagnostics

[Seri]

Or...just, to tip the otherside of the hat. Be yourself. Don't over communicate in your search. Just relax and be polite, there's no need to kneel to every domma. Just relax and let the ride take you. When it's time. Its time, there's nothing that any of us can do, and if you spend all of your time waiting and scraping your knees on the floor, then you are going to enjoy the ride a lot less the rest of us. In short. Be polite and be yourself.

~SeriBelle

[Guera]

at the same time, be prepared to spend some time on your knees, and not getting a thing out of it. you might want to have fun, but you get out of WIITWD, what you put in to it

[Seri]

Yes, of course. The trick is, to know when to kneel, and when not to. But I can't tell you how to know. That's something that every one just needs to learn on their own.

~SeriBelle

[wolfpup]

I'm a submissive male, but I play the role of a pet. I play the role as a wolf pup for my master, and I"m really into that. Even just eating out of a bowl has turned me on before.

[Guera]

I was talking to a friend, who is a male sub and really "gets the girls". He isn't especially special. He just wants to make sure that his domme has fun. It seems to work.

[moosehunter]

I'm a male submissive who has started several posts. The only time I recieved responses on my original which now is in the wrong catagory, dominants looking for submissives. I'm willing to most humbling activities and will try all types of self-punishment that shouldn't lead to serious injury. I'm married and my Wife does play with me from time to time.

So all I'm looking for here is ideas and online domination.

[SissySlut]

I'm trying to be an active male sub. It is hard out here, because SO many people want to be Dom's of females.

I think it's because male is "normally" the dominate role thats to society today, so when a inexperianced guy has to pick his role, 9/10 they will not choose sub, as it's "un-manly". Same with girls, I see a lot of female subs, who would be Domme's except for some reason, they think they can't be.

[IAN 2411]

SissySlut; I think you have got your facts a little mixed up, subs and Dom are not picked in a lottery whether male or female, it is normally a natrural accurence. A person is a sub for a multiple of reasons, but i doubt the being un-manly as you put it comes to my mind. I allowed my wife/Domme to be who she was, because at work i was master of my trade and master of my employees, to arrive home and give that up, and letting someone else take command if you like, has its own satisfaction. A person is a sub because they feel comfortable being in that position, but it does not mean that they are less manly than the body builder next door. As for female subs i would not dare to make assumptions, as they have their own reasons, and it might be better to ask them before making statements.

Regards ian 2411

[SissySlut]

SissySlut; I think you have got your facts a little mixed up, subs and Dom are not picked in a lottery whether male or female, it is normally a natrural accurence. A person is a sub for a multiple of reasons, but i doubt the being un-manly as you put it comes to my mind. I allowed my wife/Domme to be who she was, because at work i was master of my trade and master of my employees, to arrive home and give that up, and letting someone else take command if you like, has its own satisfaction. A person is a sub because they feel comfortable being in that position, but it does not mean that they are less manly than the body builder next door. As for female subs i would not dare to make assumptions, as they have their own reasons, and it might be better to ask them before making statements.

Regards ian 2411

Yes, but a lot of guys not experienced with BDSM just looking to get into the game naturally pick the Dom role, before they dive deep enough to discover their true nature, thats was i was saying.

[IAN 2411]

I really like this post. I am very new to this forum, and was at first surprised that there was a lack of female dommes in the dom looking for subs thread.

It is my personal belief that life is all about balance. In my public life, due to the profession I have chosen, I have to be a very dominate, go getting personality. I find it very exhausting and have to have some me time (for a better term). In my last relationship I had a girlfriend that was very dominate in the bedroom but somewhat submissive in public life. This is how I found out how enjoyable it was to give some one else control.

Now I have decided to take the journey to discover this side of my life.

I know I have my fantasies, through reading the stories in the library. But it is my belief that to fully enjoy my submissive side I have to give up my needs to someone else. I hope that this website will help me do this.

VicSub don’t spend the best part of your life looking for something that might not be there. Fem Domme come in all ways and they do not wear a lable, because most dont know they are Domme until their chance comes along. There are many Fem Domme out there in the world but to find the right one is the crux of the matter. My wife/Mistress was not one before we got married, it started off mild and i allowed her to go to the lengths she did, and it was that reason my marraige lasted. I was playing a game of submissive with her, but unintentionally she was being Dominant, she was getting her buz at the same time i was getting mine, it was a real game that neither of us realised we were playing. There is more to a Fem Domme/ male sub than beating a man into the ground, and at the end of the day, there is a far stronger loyalty to each other than in a vanilla maraige.

Regards ian 2411

[thir]

most dont know they are Domme until their chance comes along.
Regards ian 2411

Why would you think that?

[IAN 2411]

Fem Domme come in all ways and they do not wear a lable, because most dont know they are Domme until their chance comes along.

Why would you think that?

I didn’t explain myself very clearly and I apologise for that, I was in fact referring to Domme’s in vanilla marriages. While writing my BDSM books I try to keep the theme to scenarios that take place in real life, and then I place the most extreme consequences that could possibly take place. But most of the starts to my book are based on real life experiences, and although they are not my experiences they are as real as you would like to believe. I get my ideas from forums in magazines, reader’s letters of their journey over to the dark side. I have to admit that possibly 50% should be on a wish list, but there are a few that hit home, and it is those few that I work on. I have had two wives and I loved them both, the latter more than the first, but neither was Domme before marriage, but after a time their intentions were made known. The first wife went to extreme to show that she was Domme, but it never took place over night, and I knew that she was never like that before marriage. It was caused by talking to her friends saying things to her, and because I let her get away with little things, the power went to her head. As I did explain, Domme’s do not wear a label, and that is a fact, and I know from experience that a good Fem/Domme is very hard to find, and if you are looking for a certain type then it is almost impossible. I was very lucky in my second marriage that I found both, and it was all done so subtle that it worked, and at no time were my limits breached, and once again it was because I allowed her to take charge. What took place between my Mistress wife and I will never be open to discussion, because she passed away two years ago and I will never replace her.

Regards ian 2411

[thir]

I didn’t explain myself very clearly and I apologise for that, I was in fact referring to Domme’s in vanilla marriages.

Ok, thanks.

As I did explain, Domme’s do not wear a label, and that is a fact, and I know from experience that a good Fem/Domme is very hard to find,
[/quote

Well, neither does a sub, or a Dom for that matter. You have to look in the right places is what I think.

I have often got into discussions about how many there may be of each kind (subs, Dom(me)s, switches) and it seems to vary a lot, but again, in the right places there they ALL are :-)

[wannabeslave]

i was simply commenting that i am a male sub as someone earlier claimed that we were hard to find

[thir]

i was simply commenting that i am a male sub as someone earlier claimed that we were hard to find

Ok. Glad to see you and others popping up :-)

[Bernardobravo]

Hello everyone

Just joined the library. First try at posting ?? Does it work ???

[wannabeslave]

It doesn't work if you are a male sub trying to find a Domme. i guess they just don't believe us.