chalsia

well here are some more random thoughts:

i have been lurking here .. spending some time in the chat room, getting to know some people. And i have a question or concern.
i suppose it is a submissive desire to feel that collar around his or her neck. So much so that it seems almost desperate.. so much so that some feel *left* out when they do not have this symbol of belonging wrapped around their neck. My question though is, does such collar have a Velcro fastener? Ok ok let ...

sitting on a bench by a lake tossing rocks into the water.. my mind wandering, only hoping for the sun the set and able to return home by then. Unaware of the man approaching and looking up in surprise as he sits next to me. He is friendly and the glimpse of sudden fear quickly retreats. A bit subconsciously straighten my short skirt.. tug on the blouse, just trying to relax and not look so nervous, not nervous because of fear, but because the mans closeness making me self conscious. He spoke quietly ...

i recently opened up here and of course fell flat on my face. oh yes some say that i did it on purpose that i set myself and everyone else up for failure. perhaps.. perhaps i'm the one who just does all this to satisfy my masochistic side inside myself. Never-mind that i truly do not think i have a masochistic bone in my body. Perhaps a craving to be hurt at times to someone who likes inflicting pain, but nothing more.. there is no yearning or craving for pain.
I was told i'm running away ...

not even sure why i'm doing this, not even sure why i'm putting myself through this. joined this site in late july after lurking for some time in the stories section. it actually conincided with the time were i went to my first munch and slosh and such, where i finally took steps towards my own surrender. this forum has been an outlet to my thoughts and dreams.
a while back i came across a post from a Dominant that was looking for a submissive. He sounded like so someone i wanted to get ...

recently the question was posted to me about what is the difference between being simply kinky and a submissive. my immediate response of course was getting very defensive and i do not think i handled it the right way, by trying to defend my submissiveness like a badge of honor or something. But having had some time to think about it, i'm really pondering this thought.
recently went to a couple of munches and made some observations. I was under the belief that everyone going to organized ...

after i posted my last blog i realized something, how detached i was from trying to convey what brought me to this journey. I was like a disconnected reporter and want to rectify such starting today. Because it was much more then just to lay in the bathtub and make myself cum with a stream of water, so much more.
i can not even pinpoint the beginning but every day i looked forward to the private time in my bathroom. my fingers were trembling as i undressed, peeled off layer and layer of that ...

After we moved from that quiet street with the boys and ropes i never thought about it much any more. At least i do not think i thought about it much more. The next large recollection of anything like that was much much later, I was well into my teens. Of course thoughts of boys dancing in my head, giggling with girlfriends talking about who is the sexiest of them all. But in the end i was not attracted to those boys, i like the older ones, the ones who were more sure of themselves, the once who ...

In the last week or so i did some serious reflecting on my life trying to figure out the past and perhaps carve a way to my future. so reflection has been a part of my chores that I gave myself last week, my friends death sorta gave me a rude awakening in things.
People used to asked me what made me decide to even looking into this lifestyle and i honestly never really had an answer for it. so now i decided to start from the beginning, prolly gonna happen in stages, but i will be brutally ...

a few weeks ago i had the pleasure of meeting a very special submissive. she was in the lifestyle for a very long time, had the most wonderful disposition and a great attitude. no question to her was a bad questions, her whole attitude was most pleasant. she had the special gift of making people smile around her and make even a stranger feel welcome and at home. my first munch she always had a smile for me and gave encouragement with just a look and a smile. at a large bdsm event only recently she ...