Mistakes by a Dom/me

[Timberwolf]

I don't get this infallible Dom thing. A man with so much pride it's comming out his ears. When I screw up I always apologise and do my best to make up for it. It doesn't have to mean groveling. Aknowledging the misstake, understanding her emotions and explaining how I feel about it and what I'll do to minimise it happening again is what I do.

One characteristic I do think is important for a good Dom is bravery, and that means an ability to critisize oneself in a constructive way. A man too proud to admit fault in a conflict is just a big coward.

*gets off soap-box*

I pretty much agree with every word of this.

To expand on these thoughts, to me a big part of what my journey in the Lifestyle is about goes into the concept of true self acceptance. I think this applies to both Doms and subs. What I mean by true self acceptacne is, it's very easy to say "here are my good qualities" and give yourself praise for them, or express them to others. But there comes a point when you also have to say "here are my not so good parts, my dark little corners" and you have to learn to accept that, these too, are part of who you are. And if you are lucky, you find a partner that accepts all of those things as you, someone you can share *all* of that with and have it be okay.

We all make mistakes or have personality traits that can cause us strife from time to time, and any Top that claims they don't is obviously insulting the other person's intelligence. The key is just dealing with them maturely. How you deal with mistakes is probably far more important than *if* you make them.

[gloombunny]

I don't really have anything to contribute here, but I wanted to mention that I know a woman who likes being called "Goddess", but isn't a stuck-up bitch with pretensions of infallibility or anything of the sort.

[DrGeordie]

... there comes a point when you also have to say "here are my not so good parts, my dark little corners" ....

I know this is an old thread but this just clicked with me. A significant part of my fascination with D/s is because it challenges both parties and makes them face their personal darkness and bring it into the light. This challenge to myself is part of drives me. One day I hope I can find a sub who will challenge me and accept what she finds in the dark corners