My Assingnment -- Pilloried in the Mid-East

[Rhabbi]

Rhabbi,
Methinks thou doth protest too much.

Yes it isn't easy to write from an unfamiliar point of view but it's both challenging and enlightening. Your original attempt was truly little more than a rough sketch, and from there you went on to create a full blown short story. An excellent job I might add. The story now has a plot, a reason and purpose for the actions described, and the main character/narrator has some depth, dimension, and personality. That's what makes the story believable, or at least lets the reader suspend disbelief while they read the tale. They can now care about your narrator and will want to find out what's going to happen to her.


I sometimes think the most interesting stories are told from the submissive female’s point of view, but then I'm sort of partial to cute female subbies myself.


You did a great job Rhabbi. Now just don't balk if Ruby should tell you to tighten it up, make it shorter and work on the transitions. The polishing process will take this fine story and create a tale that will grab a reader, pull them along, and hit them with an even more intense impact.


One secret of the story telling trade is that any story can always be told a little better. Editing isn't something that's ever truly done and over. Don't let that discourage you, just use it to your advantage. Be willing to go through a story one more time until you are (or in this case Ruby is,) satisfied. And even as you admire the next rewrite know that if you reread it in a month you'll probably see a few more things you could do to make it better still.


Take care, write well, revise cheerfully and I’ll be seeing you in level 4 before long.
Yours
Mad Lews

Thank you for the kind thoughts Lews, but the truth reallly is that I cannot tell if this story works.

I was always told to write what you know. I do not know this perspective, and it was extremley difficult for me to reach the point I did. My word processor actually keeps trach of revisions, and it took over 200 for me to reach the point that was published here. Lots of work, but I am gald I did it.

[Mad Lews]

Thank you for the kind thoughts Lews, but the truth reallly is that I cannot tell if this story works.

I was always told to write what you know. I do not know this perspective, and it was extremley difficult for me to reach the point I did. My word processor actually keeps trach of revisions, and it took over 200 for me to reach the point that was published here. Lots of work, but I am gald I did it.

Don't just write about what you know, write about what you want to know, what your curious about! Don't just write about what you feel, write about what others feel (which you really can't know first hand).

Someone once said fiction writing is about telling believable lies for fun or profit

200 revisions (large and small no doubt) tells me you read the story through 200 times before you were satisfied. That says a lot about tenacity and desire.
Mad

[anonymouse]

Someone once said fiction writing is about telling believable lies for fun or profit

Lawrence Block in Telling Lies for Fun and Profit.

[anonymouse]

Thank you for the kind thoughts Lews, but the truth reallly is that I cannot tell if this story works.

Rhabbi, I think it's true to say that authors (or any artist) aren't in a position to make that kind of judgement call. The 'giving birth' metaphor is true in this case. You've created something -- given it a life, as it were -- and now it's up to the readers to decide whether or not it 'works' for them. They each bring their own unique perspective to the story through which they make their judgements. Based on the foregoing comments, I'd say your story does indeed 'work', regardless of whether or not you believe so.

anonymouse

[Mad Lews]

Rhabbi, I think it's true to say that authors (or any artist) aren't in a position to make that kind of judgement call. The 'giving birth' metaphor is true in this case. You've created something -- given it a life, as it were -- and now it's up to the readers to decide whether or not it 'works' for them. They each bring their own unique perspective to the story through which they make their judgements. Based on the foregoing comments, I'd say your story does indeed 'work', regardless of whether or not you believe so.

anonymouse

anonymouse dear,
I do think you've hit the thumb on the nail here. The creator/writer isn't the one who knows if it works. The readers are the ones who make that call. That means the story will 'work' for some and not for others. Judging from the feedback you've gotten so far Rhabbi my best guess would be your story "WORKED!!"
Now that might not be enough for you. In this case it needs to work for Ruby too, but she seems to be beaming; so quick Rhabbi, collect your brass ring and await the next challenge. Being not quite content or totally confident is part of the creative process. It might help explain why all those writers are always griping about reviews or the lack thereof.
Mad lews