My journey through the darkness

[midi]

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my post. I hope that your own experiences worked out for you in the end.

Thank you Mysterious Fun. They did and the good news is that those experiences made me grow and I ultimately became stronger in the end.
I hope the same for you.

[Myst]

Thank you Mysterious Fun. They did and the good news is that those experiences made me grow and I ultimately became stronger in the end.
I hope the same for you.

Thank you. I'm glad your own worked out well. And so far it looks as if mine will too.

[Myst]

Just something else I needed to get out. Read if you want, don't feel like you have to. Just know that it's in no way related to bdsm in any form, just about life.


Failure
Why in life when things are going so well, do I feel the need to do something stupid? Why is it that no matter how hard I try, failure creeps into my life? Why is it that every time I fail, I am not the one who feels the effects, but another? How is it fair that my own faults and inadequacies injure those I should be helping?

Anguish
In darkness I sit, staring at the wall, mind racing. Tears running silently down my cheeks, accepting the pain, knowing I deserve it all. Wave after wave, the anguish runs through me, threatening to tear me apart. Who am I? Why is it that everyone else sees the line, the line you can’t cross, the line that keeps you safe? Why is it that I leap over it without a thought, without hesitation? How do I go on? Where do I even begin to make this right?

Disgust
Life brings us challenges to make us better, stronger. I can only hope that I am strong enough to face my error. The disgust I feel at myself and my actions is overwhelming. Is any way I’ll ever be able to forgive myself?

[Rhabbi]

My apologies that I missed the second part of your comments here Myst.

Failure
Why in life when things are going so well, do I feel the need to do something stupid? Why is it that no matter how hard I try, failure creeps into my life? Why is it that every time I fail, I am not the one who feels the effects, but another? How is it fair that my own faults and inadequacies injure those I should be helping?

Tough one. I think we all go through this, our internal desire to succeed verses our desire not to take risks. I try to measure my success not by money or power, I measure it by the poele i respect. And wether they respect me.

Anguish
In darkness I sit, staring at the wall, mind racing. Tears running silently down my cheeks, accepting the pain, knowing I deserve it all. Wave after wave, the anguish runs through me, threatening to tear me apart. Who am I? Why is it that everyone else sees the line, the line you can’t cross, the line that keeps you safe? Why is it that I leap over it without a thought, without hesitation? How do I go on? Where do I even begin to make this right?

Who says you deserve the pain?

I know some of the story behind this, and want you to know that I do not think you deserve anything but happiness. The pursuit of happiness is an inaliable right, just read the Decalration of Independance.

This does not mean we will find it, but you certainly deserve to pursue it as much as the next person.

Disgust
Life brings us challenges to make us better, stronger. I can only hope that I am strong enough to face my error. The disgust I feel at myself and my actions is overwhelming. Is any way I’ll ever be able to forgive myself?

My opinion, if it is worth anything to you, is that you will be one strong person once you become who you are meant to be. We all make mistakes, and facing them is the hardest thing for some people to do. You can at least admit them, so facing them should be easy for you.

[Myst]

*smiles* no problem Rhabbi. Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment.