faking it

[Ozme52]

Thought something must have been wrong since I can't orgasm from just intercourse alone.

Heard that, been there, fixed it. Several times.

Again... something about the voice I guess.

[fetishdj]

Heard that, been there, fixed it. Several times.

Again... something about the voice I guess.

Yep, me too and not even due to the voice (because I rarely speak when having sex, no idea why I just can't).

Personally I think there needs to be lessons in schools about this. Everyone would be so much happier if more men a) cared enough to try or b) knew what to do effectively. The caring bit is impossible to fix unless you are very patient (though holding his orgasm ransom may help in some cases... men often can't do anything after they have cum and so it is counterproductive to let him cum first so learn to tease and draw him out for as long as possible). However, for technique I think women can do a lot to teach - depending on your man. You really need to hint strongly when what he is doing is right or wrong because even an experienced man (like me and Oz) may not know the right places to press and how hard or fast to really let you get off. Those who care will try and may eventually get there but those who won't will just keep doing the same things that do not work.

And the hints have to be strong. No subtlety here as men do not get subtle hints at the best of times and when the brain is hardwired into the penis subtle hints may as well be you making random white noise.

Long periods of foreplay are essential (no penetration until she has cum at least once) and you can do a lot with vibrators - get him to use one on you or get him to watch while you use it on yourself for a little while (it is both erotic for him and educational as he can see what you do). You can do the same with your fingers. BTW, you can also use vibes on him as well - on the penis and in and around the anus (though makes sure you clean it after the latter, certainly before it goes anywhere near your vagina - maybe have two vibes, one each - or use it anally last).

Just a few things based on my experiences...

[blythe spirit]

Personally I think there needs to be lessons in schools about this. Everyone would be so much happier if more men a) cared enough to try or b) knew what to do effectively. The caring bit is impossible to fix unless you are very patient (though holding his orgasm ransom may help in some cases... men often can't do anything after they have cum and so it is counterproductive to let him cum first so learn to tease and draw him out for as long as possible). However, for technique I think women can do a lot to teach - depending on your man. You really need to hint strongly when what he is doing is right or wrong because even an experienced man (like me and Oz) may not know the right places to press and how hard or fast to really let you get off. Those who care will try and may eventually get there but those who won't will just keep doing the same things that do not work.

Long periods of foreplay are essential (no penetration until she has cum at least once) and you can do a lot with vibrators - get him to use one on you or get him to watch while you use it on yourself for a little while (it is both erotic for him and educational as he can see what you do). You can do the same with your fingers. BTW, you can also use vibes on him as well - on the penis and in and around the anus (though makes sure you clean it after the latter, certainly before it goes anywhere near your vagina - maybe have two vibes, one each - or use it anally last).

Just a few things based on my experiences...

To start with, I have heard that college educated men can hold an erection longer than blue collor workers. Don't know if that's true; however, what good is an erection if the woman isn't into it?

From your paragraph on "foreplay" I'm assuming that you mean all the kissing and fondling and all that other crap that men do. Yuck! I might rather have that be afterplay. lol

To reiterate, and I think this applies to a some other women, my major sex organ is between my ears and if a man can't stimulate that, then he might as well go home and leave me to my always orgasmic masturbation. I can have an orgasm without even touching myself, because I masturbate my mind. I just don't think a lot of men get that!

[fetishdj]

By my definition, foreplay and afterplay are anything that occurs before or after penetration. That includes talking in the restaurant beforehand...

Seriously, I am mainly referring to oral and manual stimulation of the genitals because the longer you do this prior to penetration the better (and more likely) any orgasm will be. This is, of course, a purely physiological response to the issue as I feel others (Oz, in particular) have covered the mental stimulation rather well aready and it is true that the mind is the best sexual organ. However, in my experience, assuming she is already aroused in the mind, good technique in foreplay combined with good communication can make a massive difference to a woman who is finding it difficult to actually achieve orgasm.

Out of interest, how many women here have actually ejaculated? Not just orgasmed but actually released an ejaculate? I mention this because many women seem to think that they have achieved final orgasm when really they haven't because they have not actually ejaculated. Don't worry if you never have - apparently it is difficult to achieve and most women find that they do not need to in order to be satisfied - I am just looking for a quick poll of who has and under what circumstances.

[fellintobed]

Out of interest, how many women here have actually ejaculated? Not just orgasmed but actually released an ejaculate? I mention this because many women seem to think that they have achieved final orgasm when really they haven't because they have not actually ejaculated. Don't worry if you never have - apparently it is difficult to achieve and most women find that they do not need to in order to be satisfied - I am just looking for a quick poll of who has and under what circumstances.

I'm a bit confused by this - it's perfectly possible for women to orgasm without ejaculating (by which I assume you're referring to the squirting associated with g-spot orgasms?).

I squirt quite readily when my g-spot is sufficiently stimulated. I can also orgasm under any number of other circumstances, including when no genital stimulation is involved at all.

To say that women have not "truly orgasmed" unless they squirt is doing a disservice to all women. Men's bodies and women's bodies work in different ways - with all due respect, please don't conflate them.

[icey]

To start with, I have heard that college educated men can hold an erection longer than blue collor workers. Don't know if that's true;

i never heard that before lol although i have to say that the guys ive known who were at uni or college did used to last longer!
and IH who is the only partner ive ever had that went to uni holds it way longer than anyone ive ever known before! i usually tell him thats cos of his age though but that doesnt always go down too well but maybe it's actually cos they're too busy concentrating on their next thesis or whatever they're called lol

and im with you blythe on the sloppy kissing fondling foreplay and the rubbing the clit thing like its some kind of contest, urrgh i cant stand it, it makes my skin crawl and makes me want to scream but i like to scream in a good way!