Assertive Submissive?

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

i know i cannot speak for all submissives on this subject, but i'll be glad to relate my own personal opinion on this. In talking with other submissives, i've often found that we (along with myself) are often very strong minded, goal oriented people during our day to day life. Myself, i've always been into management in my career and most of my vanilla relationships have been with me as the "stronger" of the two partners. My family describes me as "assertive, controling (imagine that........lol), a go-getter that doesn't let anything stand in her way, fiercely independant, etc." To me, this is what makes my submission so special.

I am all of the things my family states. So when i find that special someone that i trust above all others and turn the control that i hold onto so tightly over to Him, can you imagine how very special that is??? And to be honest, after assuming all that responsibility day in and day out........how lovely would it be to let someone else shoulder some of that? To me, being a strong, independant woman does not negate your submissiveness.........it simply makes it that much more special and something to be truly treasured by the One that is lucky enough to earn it *smiles*

[jeanne]

Cinq,

You are on an exploration of yourself. Don't worry if you are confused - it can take time to find your 'level'. I will ask of you one thing - don't get too wound around the axle over definitions. And definitely don't start thinking that because you don't meet some other person's definition that you are 'not submissive enough'. You are you. Enjoy the learning of you, love yourself just as you are today, and keep an open mind to the possibilities.

And most of all - have fun! Our sexuality is a constant wonder and gift. Enjoy it.


jeanne

[leah06]

I agree with Jeanne about not feeling like you have to fit yourself into a particular definition, but for me, when someone just in passing on this site mentioned the difference between a bedroom or sexual submissive and a service submissive, it was really helpful to me.

Maybe you're not a service submissive, or maybe you're still exploring, but there's certainly nothing wrong with bedroom submission. And in my experience, sometimes the very men who like you to be in charge in the relationship really enjoy being in charge in the bedroom, once you've given them permission.

[jeanne]

I agree with Jeanne about not feeling like you have to fit yourself into a particular definition, but for me, when someone just in passing on this site mentioned the difference between a bedroom or sexual submissive and a service submissive, it was really helpful to me.

Maybe you're not a service submissive, or maybe you're still exploring, but there's certainly nothing wrong with bedroom submission. And in my experience, sometimes the very men who like you to be in charge in the relationship really enjoy being in charge in the bedroom, once you've given them permission.

I agree - definitions concerning 'type' of submission are helpful. I was referring to those horrid (yes, my opinion only!) threads about submissive vs. slave - and the implied and overt theme of slaves being 'better' than submissives.

I think I just injected my own issues into this thread...so I'll stop now!

[blythe spirit]

Don't worry if you are confused - it can take time to find your 'level'.

Oh, I definitely agree with this. Ummmm - let's see I've been in a state of confusion for years now. Seems that different Dominants bring out different aspects of my submissiveness, but I've yet to find a dominant that can get to my inner core.

[leo9]

i know i cannot speak for all submissives on this subject, but i'll be glad to relate my own personal opinion on this. In talking with other submissives, i've often found that we (along with myself) are often very strong minded, goal oriented people during our day to day life. Myself, i've always been into management in my career and most of my vanilla relationships have been with me as the "stronger" of the two partners. My family describes me as "assertive, controling (imagine that........lol), a go-getter that doesn't let anything stand in her way, fiercely independant, etc." To me, this is what makes my submission so special.

I am all of the things my family states. So when i find that special someone that i trust above all others and turn the control that i hold onto so tightly over to Him, can you imagine how very special that is??? And to be honest, after assuming all that responsibility day in and day out........how lovely would it be to let someone else shoulder some of that? To me, being a strong, independant woman does not negate your submissiveness.........it simply makes it that much more special and something to be truly treasured by the One that is lucky enough to earn it *smiles*

I was going to write all of this from the point of view of a Dom who loves strong, assertive women (my late wife used to define herself as a "submissive bossy bitch"). But this says it all so eloquently that I can only add... What she said!

[good_girl]

I have always considered myself a strong, independent woman, not one to need a man but one to want one in my life. I can survive quite well on my own. I am also the more dominant type at work, it doesn't matter if my co-workers are happy with me, what matters is the job gets done right. What has always mattered to me is that my partner is happy with me and I will always do my best to make sure that happens.

So when i find that special someone that i trust above all others and turn the control that i hold onto so tightly over to Him, can you imagine how very special that is??? And to be honest, after assuming all that responsibility day in and day out........how lovely would it be to let someone else shoulder some of that? To me, being a strong, independant woman does not negate your submissiveness.........it simply makes it that much more special and something to be truly treasured by the One that is lucky enough to earn it *smiles*

[Guest110308]

i know i cannot speak for all submissives on this subject, but i'll be glad to relate my own personal opinion on this. In talking with other submissives, i've often found that we (along with myself) are often very strong minded, goal oriented people during our day to day life. Myself, i've always been into management in my career So when i find that special someone that i trust above all others and turn the control that i hold onto so tightly over to Him, can you imagine how very special that is??? And to be honest, after assuming all that responsibility day in and day out........how lovely would it be to let someone else shoulder some of that? To me, being a strong, independant woman does not negate your submissiveness.........it simply makes it that much more special and something to be truly treasured by the One that is lucky enough to earn it *smiles*

hi Everyone. Thank you for starting this thread. I believe that a strong, independent woman submitting herself is one of the most truly beautiful things. I think you have just begun your exploration of your submissive self. I would also like to state that are many types of submissives/Sirs/Ma'am's, and there is room of all of us here .
Good luck on your journey of self discovery and submission. I hope to chat with you sometime in the chat room.
hugs