Why do many BDSM people look down on switches?

[Pearlgem]

Thir, I don't have any experience of this but I found your question interesting and it made me wonder...

Could it have something to do with the extravagant claims you sometimes hear from both subs and doms about how they were born to their mindset, they've always knows they were definitely one or the other, they're sub or dom to their very heart and soul, it fulfils/completes them to their core, etc etc (which may be true but that's the orthodoxy it's so easy for any old sub or dom to tag themselves with) - so when there are those few who claim to be able to genuinely and meaningfully switch between the sacred engrained positions, it rather seems to undercut the deadly earnestness of these positions, and nobody likes to be 'cut down to size.'.

Am I on to something here, do you think?

[thir]

Thir, I don't have any experience of this but I found your question interesting and it made me wonder...

Could it have something to do with the extravagant claims you sometimes hear from both subs and doms about how they were born to their mindset, they've always knows they were definitely one or the other, they're sub or dom to their very heart and soul, it fulfils/completes them to their core, etc etc (which may be true but that's the orthodoxy it's so easy for any old sub or dom to tag themselves with) - so when there are those few who claim to be able to genuinely and meaningfully switch between the sacred engrained positions, it rather seems to undercut the deadly earnestness of these positions, and nobody likes to be 'cut down to size.'.

Am I on to something here, do you think?

I think you might well be, judging from the sometimes really wild protests from both sides when this question is discussed. And the fact that many questionaires (as in new members) do not have the option of 'switch'. And very few define themselves as such.

My personal experience from clubs and camps and the like is that it takes trust before anyone will talk about anything other than their 'official' stand.

But why???

[Timoty]

I think W/we A/all, Dominant, sub, slave, vanilla, liberal, conservative, shrink, etc, etc, etc, wish the world to be a very “clean” place. There is a comfort when things are as W/we wish them to be. Blue is blue. Green is green. And, O/our vegetables never get into O/our meat. Regretfully, the world is not such a place. I personally would not knowingly be Dom to a switch. Not because they have no “right” to be what they wish to be, nor, that it is My place to judge there choices, it is merely the fact that they will not completely be what I wish them to be for as long as I wish them to be that. My world is “cloudy” enough without adding another set of allusions in front of Me. So, it is My preference not to “use” them but not because there is something “wrong” with them. Secondly, I am secure in My Dominance and have no desire to be bottom to A/anyone. It is that same security that allows Me to shrug My shoulders and bless the day that W/we were all created differently and those differences are the spice of life.

Do not be confused. Take your bewilderment as an opportunity to explore life. Perhaps one day you will be One or the other but until that time take what life gives you and live it to the fullest. Worry not what O/others say, nor, how they want to apply their view of how the world should be. If the world was as “pure” as the “purists” wish it were you'd have something to worry about. Luckily, it isn't, and, rather than this “uncleanliness” threatening My personal belief system and personal security it only adds to My self-awareness and values..

[thir]

I think W/we A/all, Dominant, sub, slave, vanilla, liberal, conservative, shrink, etc, etc, etc, wish the world to be a very “clean” place. There is a comfort when things are as W/we wish them to be. Blue is blue. Green is green. And, O/our vegetables never get into O/our meat. Regretfully, the world is not such a place.

I am afraid I am not quite with you here -?

I personally would not knowingly be Dom to a switch. Not because they have no “right” to be what they wish to be, nor, that it is My place to judge there choices, it is merely the fact that they will not completely be what I wish them to be for as long as I wish them to be that.

I'm afraid I lost this one too..?

Do not be confused. Take your bewilderment as an opportunity to explore life.

I did not really explain this at first, but as I said later, the confusion on my part is due to both a cultural shock concerning the attitude towards switches and my personal situation, in which illness means that I have to find all over what I do now. Believe you me, I have explored in my time! <G>

Perhaps one day you will be One or the other

No offence intended, but do you thing you will change from Dom to sub in time? No?
Well, likewise I do not think I will go from being a switch to being a one-sider - it is what I Am.
What I need to find out is where I am within this field.

but until that time take what life gives you and live it to the fullest. Worry not what O/others say, nor, how they want to apply their view of how the world should be.

I do intend to enjoy myself. As for the other, the problem with that is that a a switch you tend to be a minority in a minority on lists and get into endless discussions about whether you are 'real' this or 'real' that or insincere, dabbling, confused, undecided or whatever.. The only way to avoid that is to not say you are a switch, which sucks too.

[leo9]

Secondly, I am secure in My Dominance and have no desire to be bottom to A/anyone.

It may surprise you, but I'm secure in my dominance too (so much so that I don't need to emphasise it with capitals), which is why I don't feel it's undermined by the fact that I also can enjoy submitting.

Do not be confused. Take your bewilderment as an opportunity to explore life.

It's not clear if this was addressed to thir or to switches in general, but either way it reads as offensively patronising. Once again: being a switch does not mean being "confused".

Perhaps one day you will be One or the other but until that time take what life gives you and live it to the fullest.

Why ill-wish her (or us)? I'm sure every switch would agree that they would be diminished if they lost half their sexuality.

You might as well assure me that perhaps one day I'll recover from being bisexual and settle for either men or women.

[leo9]

Thir, I don't have any experience of this but I found your question interesting and it made me wonder...

Could it have something to do with the extravagant claims you sometimes hear from both subs and doms about how they were born to their mindset, they've always knows they were definitely one or the other, they're sub or dom to their very heart and soul, it fulfils/completes them to their core, etc etc (which may be true but that's the orthodoxy it's so easy for any old sub or dom to tag themselves with) - so when there are those few who claim to be able to genuinely and meaningfully switch between the sacred engrained positions, it rather seems to undercut the deadly earnestness of these positions, and nobody likes to be 'cut down to size.'.

Am I on to something here, do you think?

Yes, I think you are. Some of the I-was-born-to-command Doms (it's usually men) feel undermined by the very idea that a Dom could also submit, so they have to distance themselves by insisting that anyone like that can't be a real Dom.

And for a living example, my ex-slave never wanted to hear about my exploits on the subby side of the street, because the very idea of her Master kneeling to someone made her feel like the ground was cracking under her. And when I discussed getting other slaves, the only important thing to her was that she shouldn't be expected to take any control of them: if there was going to be a chain of command, she couldn't bear to be anywhere but the bottom.