Does it Bother You If..

[sinderella]

I agree, I want to be someones 'only one', however sometimes we can't have what we want. I only worry that another sub would know about me too, rather than me just know about her. Like someone said above, you have to respect other people and as long as all parties are happy with the situation then I would be too. But I hate the idea of another sub being made unhappy because her Master had chosen to collar me and not told her. Having said that - in private I am a jealous person, who cant bear the thought of my Master wanting anyone else in the way he says he wants me, but I keep a lid on negative emotions like jealousy and at the moment its working for me.

how do you "keep a lid" on "negative emotions like jealousy"?

and how could you not feel pangs of jealousy knowing your Master was kissing, fondling, and fucking another submissive, sharing Himself, talking to her, loving her.

jealousy is not a "negative" emotion - just a real one that you can't NOT feel...it's like trying to sweep an elephant under the rug and pretend it is not there.

respectfully, sinderella

[love2serve]

how do you "keep a lid" on "negative emotions like jealousy"?

and how could you not feel pangs of jealousy knowing your Master was kissing, fondling, and fucking another submissive, sharing Himself, talking to her, loving her.

jealousy is not a "negative" emotion - just a real one that you can't NOT feel...it's like trying to sweep an elephant under the rug and pretend it is not there.

respectfully, sinderella

I didnt say I didnt feel pangs of jealousy when I think of those things, I just said I personally manage to keep a lid on them. And I also personally think jealousy is a very negative emotion no matter how real it is, it can tear you apart if you let it and I for one wont ever let it ruin a good thing. I guess I wouldnt have felt like this twenty years ago, but at my age negativity is something I find useless and I strive to find the best in every situation and find my life a whole lot happier for doing so.

equally respectfully Love2serve

[sinderella]

i am with you on that negativity thing...i actually strive to keep as much negativity out of my life as possible, and i am happier for it.

i guess the key for people who do participate in polyamorous relationships is open communication. i think anything that is hidden is what bothers people, so as long as all parties agree to it and keep an open book, instead of keeping secrets or worse, lying to each other, it's all good.

[thir]

i guess the key for people who do participate in polyamorous relationships is open communication. i think anything that is hidden is what bothers people, so as long as all parties agree to it and keep an open book, instead of keeping secrets or worse, lying to each other, it's all good.

Amen to that! I think the crucial thing is to agree beforehand whether or not other people will be involved, and not spring it on anyone. And as you say, talk about it and do not keep things in the dark.

[guest010609]

i am with you on that negativity thing...i actually strive to keep as much negativity out of my life as possible, and i am happier for it.

i guess the key for people who do participate in polyamorous relationships is open communication. i think anything that is hidden is what bothers people, so as long as all parties agree to it and keep an open book, instead of keeping secrets or worse, lying to each other, it's all good.

I tried so hard to make poly work. I wanted it. I literally brought it up and asked for it. I was even in love with our other partners as well. I truly was open, honest and completely forthright ALL the time. But it still never made me feel ok. My Master and the other girls were honest as well, but I could never overcome the jealousy. <shrug> I don't know... everyone says communication is the key, but I talked till I was blue in the face and it never helped. As it turned out though, we found out that he didn't enjoy it either (admittedly partly because of my misery) so we stopped. Now he chooses to cuck me instead and we are both very happy with this.

[leo9]

how do you "keep a lid" on "negative emotions like jealousy"?

You don't: you deal with it. That goes for every kind of problem feelings.

and how could you not feel pangs of jealousy knowing your Master was kissing, fondling, and fucking another submissive, sharing Himself, talking to her, loving her.

In my experience, by focussing on what it means to hir rather than on your own feelings, and being glad that sie is having a good time, whoever with. When I was in a (mostly vanilla) foursome and people asked me if I didn't resent my wife's other husbands, I asked how I could resent anyone doing something good for the woman I loved?

jealousy is not a "negative" emotion - just a real one that you can't NOT feel...it's like trying to sweep an elephant under the rug and pretend it is not there.

This is true. So rather than telling yourself you shouldn't feel it or trying not to feel what you feel, you work with it and find out what about the situation is distressing - are you afraid he'll like her better, do you feel she's getting time you should have?