True Control

[Pearlgem]

It is easy to twist thoughts so far from the original post. It is control that is the original gift, not submission. The dominant then takes charge and when love continues to develop, maintains the control. Control can also be maintained using things other than love. Even dominants of integrity know how to manipulate things to the mutual advantage of themselves and their subs. It is the dom/mes who THINK they have total control to whom it is an illusion. Control is held by both parties, but the dominant is the one who maintains the lead and remains in charge, thus satisfying both their needs and the needs of their subs.

I think you are so right, DJade. What a lovely, wise woman you are. I love above all feeling my Master controls me, but control per se doesn't always lead automatically to my submission. But it's only when I do cede control of myself to him that my submission can possibly flourish. It's like a constant and joyful dance between us, which my Master controls and I willingly follow, to be in accord, for me to be open to him, for him to receive the pleasure he desires. Some steps are tricky, but there are great sections of minuet we can perform together faultlessly. Other times we're shuffling along together trying to find each other's rhythm. But my Master is a sure lead, versatile and quick and I put my hand in his in sure expectation that he will lead me eventually through some wonderful moves.
If I keep control to myself I can't possibly submit. He can't force control from me, I have to allow it willingly. It's not a once and for all thing. For me, control is a constant, delicate shifting of intelligence and desire. My reward is my submission, it doesn't come first.
Thank you, DJade, for your lovely insights.

[DJade]

I think you are so right, DJade. What a lovely, wise woman you are. I love above all feeling my Master controls me, but control per se doesn't always lead automatically to my submission. But it's only when I do cede control of myself to him that my submission can possibly flourish. It's like a constant and joyful dance between us, which my Master controls and I willingly follow, to be in accord, for me to be open to him, for him to receive the pleasure he desires. Some steps are tricky, but there are great sections of minuet we can perform together faultlessly. Other times we're shuffling along together trying to find each other's rhythm. But my Master is a sure lead, versatile and quick and I put my hand in his in sure expectation that he will lead me eventually through some wonderful moves.
If I keep control to myself I can't possibly submit. He can't force control from me, I have to allow it willingly. It's not a once and for all thing. For me, control is a constant, delicate shifting of intelligence and desire. My reward is my submission, it doesn't come first.
Thank you, DJade, for your lovely insights.

Beautifully said, Pearlgem. It is so true that a good D/s relationship is a (sometimes delicate, sometimes intense) dance in which control, faith, trust, need, devotion and love are among the main steps. Submissives need to feel their dominants have control. That is one of the things that gives them hope and fuels their desires. Thank you!