*blows my whistle* Down shayna, down. LOL... Oz was just makin a joke ;-) He's a green wizard... completely harmless... most of the time, at least *eyes jeanne*...

Look, let's be honest. There are benefits to r/l relationships you can't get o/l. There are also benefits o/l you can't get r/l. As T always says, "eating chocolate ice cream makes you hate it if you eat it every single day." THAT is why many people use a combo of o/l and r/l. They may have a r/l mate, but o/l gives them that "something different." Others start one way and roll another. People (as shayna also mentioned) may have factors restricting their ability to meet in r/l, but might have an expanse of o/l possibilities...

I would say this. Be CLEAR in your desires w/a sub, or sub w/ a Dom. If you want r/l, and your partner only wants o/l, it's headed for disaster. A good solid chunk of relationships break up because of differing expectations... so it's all about openness and honesty.

Additionally, there is a GREAT expanse of o/l types of relationships. Some are an hr a day on a messanger. Some include r/l tasking. Some incl. webcams. Some incl. a phone or txt messaging. It really just depends on what the couple prefers. Same can be said for r/l. Some couples meet a few times a yr, others a few times a month or a few times a week, and still others live together, either having a deep bedroom kink or living some form of D/s 24/7. Again, REALLY just depends on the couple & what you want. I can't say it enough... having clear expectations & communicating them w/your partner is critical. Sure, the relationship may change direction, etc, or may expand/contract over time... but starting out w/some realistic expectations often helps quell disagreements & arguments...

If you are someone that needs to touch things to make them "real" to you, I would suggest you might do better w/ a r/l partner. If you are perfectly happy w/mental play & don't need to touch, but maybe only need to see, then you might be great with o/l...

That confuse you enough? LOL...