Non-sub/new to BDSM with experienced Dom

[openyoureyes]

Try to look at it like this:

If you were in a vanilla relationship...pure vanilla...and REALLY loved giving head...I mean, you fucking REALLY loved it and were VERY talented at it and you joined a website devoted to discussing it in all it's varied forms...would you share that with your friends and family? Maybe you would...maybe you're just super open and tell them everything....but I doubt it.

lol, well...I might not have talked about that with people, BUT, I did have a conversation with my dad about where I made a comment about being lonely (after a break-up), to which he responded "You're not lonely, you're horny, you should stop confusing the two". So uh, I DO have fairly open communication with my family/friends about things, maybe not anything super detailed, but it's also not something I've been very reserved about.

On the other hand, I know what you mean about wanting someone to talk to (in real life) about what's in your mind...have you tried meeting other subs in your area? Or even finding a sub you can connect with online and picking each other's brains a little...could help?

It's been tremendously helpful just to be on this forum, actually. Although I do think it might be helpful to be able to talk to someone one on one about the more personal/detailed things, though I'm not sure how to go about finding someone like that. I also have one in-real-life friend who I can talk to, though usually nothing specific, just in general how I'm feeling and she's been wonderful. Her advice has been pretty universal in that it doesn't matter how I think I *should* feel, but how I *do* feel and that I should focus on being ok with that.

Thanks again for your feedback.

[nawteeone]

I did have a conversation with my dad about where I made a comment about being lonely (after a break-up), to which he responded "You're not lonely, you're horny, you should stop confusing the two".

lmao! well, you should be a pro at handling humiliating situations!

[openyoureyes]

First, I think it's awesome that he's the one who came to you and asked you how you felt. He sounds like gold; hang on to him!

Second, sometimes it's hard to talk about things that are so new and could feel embarrassing or shameful or whatever. Try writing him a letter, or an e-mail, or as was suggested by someone somewhere, an IM conversation. Sometimes it can be so much easier to talk when you're not face-to-face. Eventually, the face-to-face will come.

Kudos to you, and keep at it!

Thanks. We tried talking over IM chat yesterday and it was much easier to ask questions about things and convey what I was thinking without feeling silly/embarrassed. I definitely know he's one of the good ones, and I appreciate him taking the time to ask me how I'm feeling as my go-to reaction with bad feelings is to just internalize them.

lmao! well, you should be a pro at handling humiliating situations!

lol, with my family? Of course I do. I've had a long line of family/friends/boyfriends who enjoyed teasing me or getting a rise out of me because they liked how easily they could read it on my face.