BDSM clubs - submitting to (or dominating) 'strangers'

[CaptainZeus]

While I can understand how other people can have the ability to trust someone they just met to not take (undue ) advantage of their bound body, it's something I personally wouldn't be comfortable with. Trust is really important, otherwise it's not as easy to relax into the scene. That's why it's good to have someone who you know understands the subtlties of your limits. Once limits start getting breached, even accidentally, trust and enjoyment could plummet.

Even scenes without sex still require trust - at the end of the day you're still tied up and relatively powerless to a complete stranger. Just because you're not have genitals rubbed doesn't mean the act has no significance.

At the end of the day, it's another fetish, and we all have kinks we like to follow. To those of you who go to clubs for this, good on you! I don't know how you muster the courage, but congratulations on being able to.

[ar1]

At the end of the day, it's another fetish, and we all have kinks we like to follow.

Agreed. But would I be right, then, in assuming that clubs are more for those whose kink is purely on the physical side - getting tied, getting spanked, whatever - than when combined with the more mental/emotional side of actual submission or domination? And if that is the case, where do us other folk go who aren't attracted by this scene/type of activity or wouldn't feel entirely comfortable there for reasons aforementioned?

[thir]

Agreed. But would I be right, then, in assuming that clubs are more for those whose kink is purely on the physical side - getting tied, getting spanked, whatever - than when combined with the more mental/emotional side of actual submission or domination?

I think it depends on what place you are talking about. I myself have mostly been in places where you could create really intense sessions. Either between two (or more) people, or as in organising a whole evening with a special theme, like Femdom/male sub evenings or the other way around, religious bdsm evenings, slave training evenings, or whatever.

And if that is the case, where do us other folk go who aren't attracted by this scene/type of activity or wouldn't feel entirely comfortable there for reasons aforementioned?

I think you cannot answer such general questions - it all depends all what style the various places prefer - or so I have found it. I think you can only try to get info on that from the organisers to get and idea of their profile.

If you cannot find any that suits you, the only way I can see is to organise some yourself.

[thir]

While I can understand how other people can have the ability to trust someone they just met to not take (undue ) advantage of their bound body, it's something I personally wouldn't be comfortable with. Trust is really important, otherwise it's not as easy to relax into the scene.

Yes, trust is essential. But it happens that people do trust others they do not know. I myself have felt often that especially male subs have trusted on first sight way beyond reason.
But it can also be that the place itself has such a good reputation that it inspires trust in people, and they take a leap.

And finally, there are lots of people who want to be a little scared - or even very scared ;-)

That's why it's good to have someone who you know understands the subtlties of your limits. Once limits start getting breached, even accidentally, trust and enjoyment could plummet.

The art is in the details I would say :-) But you have to start somewhere to learn what they are, there is always a first time, and there are always mistakes along the way. I do hope that such mistakes can be sorted, or every dom would have to be a god(dess).

Even scenes without sex still require trust - at the end of the day you're still tied up and relatively powerless to a complete stranger. Just because you're not have genitals rubbed doesn't mean the act has no significance.

Such experiences can be mind blowing!

At the end of the day, it's another fetish, and we all have kinks we like to follow. To those of you who go to clubs for this, good on you! I don't know how you muster the courage, but congratulations on being able to.

Some places do a lot to make people feel comfortable, like having contact persons to say hi, or evenings for newcomers alone (apart from the contacts), or women's evenings, or common safe words, or other good ideas.