Hi Everyone,

This is my first post and it comes from a place of need. Right now, I think that I just need to have someone who understands my stuggle nearby.

To start off, when I discovered BDSM I identified myself as a submissive. Partially, because there was a large part of me that balked at being someone's slave. I didn't mind submitting, but only with the understanding that that submission was something that I chose to give. I didn't think that a slave would be given a choice and didn't want to put myself into a category where I felt that I would lose my freedom to choose.

Well it's been about a year since 'my awakening' and I have found that I get horny for months at a time. It will be a constant hunger and the more intense our sex and loving is then the hungrier I become. It is something that I have felt is out of control. I've spent most of my two week vacation working through my submission and especially this aspect.

This leads me to the the third point. This hunger level and the need for constant loving is making me re-think whether or not I am truly more of a slave than a sub. The idea of feeling in control is becoming more and more ludacris. My submissive needs goes so deep sometimes that it takes me through hell to climb back out of it. I have to climb back out of it because my husband is new to this too and my constant need for sex is causing arguments. It's getting to the point where there's now distance in my marriage from this.

In my daily life I take on dominant roles in just about every aspect. So, the whoe sub thing kinda threw me. I am sure that it threw my hubby as well. He is a natural dom but it is now appearing as though my interests run much deeper than his. I don't know if I should continue to delve into BDSM or just try to float right here.

I am sure that many of you have experienced these same problems so any advice would be more than welcome.