Once a Strong Sub

[snowflake]

Once a Strong Sub
By
snowflake

i have been a sub for many a year,
and memories i will hold true and dear.
the parties the fun i had with them all,
even the photo shoots and movies i stood tall.
The soft touches even when i did not know who,
The strong hits that caused me to turn blue,
That pain i could take without barely a sound,
no matter how hard they would hit i would astound,
but the pain i feel now so more strong and true,
that hurt more then the simple marks of blue,
i can not stand tall and take each blow,
as i fall from them very deeply and slow.
Once a strong sub so willing to fight,
to keep them happy with all my might.
Though i shall crave it and want it each second of the day,
my submissiveness shall be tucked so very tightly away,
Though my life has been built to only serve,
i guess i am not worthy and do not deserve.
So a lost little kitten a lost little pet,
that is what i am now, that is what i get.
For all the years of trying to serve one i trust,
it has to be over now this is a must.
i throw in my towel and give into defeat,
as my heart can't take another hurting beat.

Hugs
snow

[TheSeeker]

my heart aches for you
your obedience and servitude has earned you great rewards not rejection
I hope you find a new Master who accepts the wonderful gifts you offer

[Midnytedreams]

Thank you snowflake ,your poem has reminded me of what a precious gift my little one is.
I hope with time you will allow that which has been tucked away within , to come forth again. It would be a shame to see one such as yourself not find,that which you seek. The submissive that wrote that poem {you} does deserve the happiness which you will find on your journey.

[snowflake]

i want to thank you Midnytedreams and TheSeeker for your kind words.. Who knows maybe one day i may reopen that part of me but right now i feel it is for the best it stays shut... at least until such time the pain washes away and i can once more give my all to one that truly wants it .. Until then i revert back to a vanilla life that way there is no disappointment or hurt to be added to the pain i feel now.

Thank you again

hugs
snow

[morwyn{Myrddin}]

Honey i have just read this and my heart cries for you. i wish i could take you in my arms and just hold you. Precious one, my thoughts and mind and heart are with you.

[denuseri]

my dear friend snow

I simply have no words to describe how I am feeling about your situation. It pains me deeply to see you in such despair. I can only hug you and pray that things will one day change for the better soon.

[soft zero]

Who knows maybe one day i may reopen that part of me but right now i feel it is for the best it stays shut... at least until such time the pain washes away and i can once more give my all to one that truly wants it .. Until then i revert back to a vanilla life that way there is no disappointment or hurt to be added to the pain i feel now.

Ohh snowflake. Your poem is just beautiful and so sad , and this comment, sighhhh, it just talks so strongly to me.

Take care of yourself....

[lady kisa]

Snowy~
As i sit here and read your words, my heart yearns to hug you as other's have. Since many miles seperate us and i only can offer my words to you. Please remember that the strength and beauty of your submission is still inside you. And one day i know you will feel safe and happy enough to express it.
huggles you and kisses

[epiphany]

I have not had the pleasure of meeting you and it is my great loss. I know my heart is breaking as I read your words of sorrow. I wish for you Snow...a healing that will ease your grief ..I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..

Lisa

[Saheli]

The most bearable thing about pain is its great ability to be molded into such artistic beauty. I regret that you have had to deal with the emotions you have, but it was a wonderful read. You did an excellent job of drawing the reader in. Although I have never experienced many of the things you mentioned in your poem, I may as well have, because your descriptions took me right there. I agree with you that you protect your heart until some of the pain abates. But I truly believe that one day you will find someone with whom you can experience those things again. The only thing I did not like about your poem is
"Though my life has been built to only serve,
i guess i am not worthy and do not deserve.
So a lost little kitten a lost little pet,
that is what i am now, that is what i get"

You should never allow yourself to be a victim of false-blame. In my opinion, the fact that you feel your 'life has been built only to serve' is precisely why you deserve. You can't turn it inward: your poem is so open and tender; how can you possibly write with those qualities if you don't have them yourself? You deserve much more than your current situation...or at least the situation you had when you wrote this piece.

By the way, you're a very good poet. You should keep writing.

[summerBreeze{EDQ}]

I dont know you Snowflake but I absolutely agree with all the wonderful people who have commented on your poem. I to wish to send you the most warm sincere and loving hugs and wish for you to find your happiness again with someone who will value you.
I feel honored to have been able to read your poem thankyou.

[snowflake]

i want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words .. i have read them over and over again for the past 6 months..At first i would just sit and cry over them but as time grew the tears fell less frequently...and now i think it is time to once again maybe allow a bit of that sub out little by little..

i will still be cautious so if it is to be i may find that Right Sir again that i am compatible with .. who knows he may be out there .. i know it may be a long journey but if i find him it will be worth the long road and hard travel to have him.. at least o/l as that is what i may only have.. as i still live with The Tester`.. he will remain Master so he still has a bit of say over what i do as we are common law

Once again thank you, now if i could only get out of this shy stage lol it has been a long time

hugs
snow

[denuseri]

I shall keep you and yours in my prayers my sister!

[rosebud]

Oh my, i don't know how i missed this! The tears fell as i read your poem,
so wonderfully written and heartfelt! Tight hugs to you, hun and many
prayers and wishes for the happiness you deserve!

xx rosie

[snowflake]

Oh my, i don't know how i missed this! The tears fell as i read your poem,
so wonderfully written and heartfelt! Tight hugs to you, hun and many
prayers and wishes for the happiness you deserve!

xx rosie

Thank you Rosie, but if you read my last statement i made, you will find i am trying once more.. Very slowly but trying. i think i have allowed myself enough time to heal some of the pain..

hugs and kisses hun
snow

[rosebud]

Hugs and Kisses to you too, sweets! *yummy*
Will always wish for your happiness, hun!

xx rosie

[Leaman]

I guess this was written when you were in another place snowy, and you have happily moved on. You express you feelings and emotions very well.I cannot honestly add to what has been said already.
Leaman

[snowflake]

Actually I never did move on.. at least not when it came to a Sir.. hugs all

[Donald]

HI Snowflake, I too have deep knowledge of snowflakes having lived in Minnesoata for many years. I would love to devote more time talking with you. Please feel free to leave a private message...Sir Donald

[Echoes]

Snowflake
You will astound again, you will sing and fill Him with the beauty of song once more.
Never stop believing this. He is out there...as too, are you.
hugs