Fathers Day

[storm]

Some time ago now,
dreaming of fairytale romance;
Up at dawn;
burnt toast, Spilled milk.
Laughter up the stairs.
Leaping on the bed.

‘I love you daddy.’

Instead I sit.
Cold, alone, watching others enter;
Pity in their eyes.
I sign my permission to kill
Goodbye young one.

On the bed
Exposed and shaking
Lost in another world.
The nurses hand is yours, dreaming of my fairytale romance.
I’m no longer here,
Tears and screams no longer mine,
Until I hear hear the doctor say ‘Calm her down.’

Willing myself not to forget.
The choice was never mine to make.

You never even wished me luck.

Another night down.
Another year older.
Still not forgotten.
The tears still arrive-
Without warning.

But I understand.
So happy Fathers Day.
Here’s your gift.
Sorry I didn’t have time to wrap it.

I forgive you.