Allright this is a problem that I have been having that I have been so self-concious about. And I know its only a problem because i let it be but I can't orgasm. Don't get me wrong. The BDSM play is great. When we have vanilla sex its great. We communicate everything and trust each other completely. He doesn't put pressure on me to perform and constantly reassures me that its not about getting to a point but just relaxing and having a good time. We're open to new ideas and we're inventive. I do keigels. Not as regularly as I should be but I do when I remember to. We use birth control to ensure that we're not worried about pregnancy. We've been having sex regularly in so many fun and interesting ways for over two years and I have yet to orgasm. I dont get it. I feel like we're doing everything right and it seems so easy for some people. I know not all females orgasm all the time but never. I guess I am trying to figure out if I have unrealistic realizations about coming thanks to media and society. I know I should also just relax and enjoy what I have which is a lot and I am really lucky. I was just wondering if anyone else had this problem and if they do does it bother them? How do they deal with it? Were they able to come later in life? What got you to come even if it was the very first time you had sex?